Winifred Sorensen

If you didnt see it with your own eyes or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth.

[Winifred Sorensen @94Akhmadeev]

Respect my elders? I respect whoever respects me, regardless of age.

[Winifred Sorensen @94Akhmadeev]

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept crashing.

[Winifred Sorensen @94Akhmadeev]

If they ain't gonna ride for you then they shouldn't be riding with you.

[Barbara Presley @nazirova1988]

The annoying moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you're watching.

[Winifred Sorensen @94Akhmadeev]

That awkward moment when you fail at being mad at someone because they make you laugh.

[Winifred Sorensen @94Akhmadeev]

The Gaga Law (RAH)^2 (AH)^3 + RO (MA + MAMA) + (GA)^2 + OOH(LA)^2 = Bad Romance.

[Winifred Sorensen @94Akhmadeev]

Hard work never killed anyone but why take the chance?

[Winifred Sorensen @94Akhmadeev]

My mom thinks LOL stands for "lots of love" She just texted me "Your grandmother just died. LOL."

[Doreen Coleman @agafangeld1]

Liking a Facebook status that is clearly about you, because you're a fearless bastard.

[Winifred Sorensen @94Akhmadeev]

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.

[Laurel Felder @AMiroshkov]

If pets could talk, I think we'd all be in trouble... They've seen too much.

[Winifred Sorensen @94Akhmadeev]

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

[Bettyann Fitch @TimonyaMega]

Waiting on oomf to text back 1min 2mins 3mins 4mins 5mins 6mins 7mins 8mins 9mins 10mins this hoe mu

[Veronica Gall @Stelmashuk2016]

Please do not steal, the IRS hates competition.

[Winifred Sorensen @94Akhmadeev]

How did the Dinosaur pass his exam? With Extinction!

[Winifred Sorensen @94Akhmadeev]

Police: "What's your emergency?" Me: "2 girls are fighting over me!" Police: "So what's the problem sir?" Me: "The ugly one is winning!"

[Winifred Sorensen @94Akhmadeev]

Dear YouTube, I will always Skip this ad."

[Winifred Sorensen @94Akhmadeev]

"Because snow isn't cold enough."

[Winifred Sorensen @94Akhmadeev]

"I love Eminem!" "I like Skittles better" "No, the rapper you idiot" "You're the idiot, what's so good about a M&M wrapper?"