Clur

Ridiculous and Predictable. Cherish each moment, every breath is a blessing. Wife & Momma. If you can’t control it, don’t worry about it.

[Clur @96clairebear]

I’m just tryna get home to my pup.

[United Monograms @UnitedMonograms]

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[Clur @96clairebear]

Ima be real mad if y’all turn this shit into some Purge-type crap and I have to shoot you in front of my daughter. 😒🤬

[Clur @96clairebear]

If you catch me swerving on the road I’m not texting and driving, my dog decided to jump over me onto my arm to lick the window. Mind your own..

[Clur @96clairebear]

Out of respect for all mothers, who gave up their bodies and the person they used to be and spent hours in labor and delivery, can we STOP SAYING HOW MUCH THEIR BABY IS A CLONE OF THE DAD and how EVERY quality of that baby is just exactly like its father?!

[Clur @96clairebear]

My husband asked me promptly this morning, “where are you going today?!” I looked at him confused and said, “no where, why?” He then looked me straight in the eye and said, “I just wondered.. you’re wearing pants today..” lmao... whoops.

[Clur @96clairebear]

God does not only punish women for Eve’s acts with a period... He also decided to add in an extra layer by giving males the inability to hit the toilet when they pee.

[Clur @96clairebear]

I spent 12+ hours DEEP CLEANING MY HOME, every crevice, window, appliance in and out, cabinets LITERALLY EVERYTHING... also while caring for Maggie, and working on my day off from 2pm-5pm. I wake up to CRUMBS AND TRASH EVERYWHERE. I am LIVID. I can’t even breathe right now.

[Clur @96clairebear]

I only shave my legs so when my dog licks the water off my legs after my shower she isn’t brushing her teeth.

[Clur @96clairebear]

Win FREE Monograms from https://t.co/QCmbA6t8tL! Click to learn more >>> https://t.co/TPwbzF3alq

[Clur @96clairebear]

You’re a real winner if you pick alcohol, running around, blowing money and being single over growing up and being a man and taking care of your woman and baby. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Clur @96clairebear]

Dear, @bathbodyworks

Please kindly bring back Poolside Pop. I will love you forever and ever.

💖 Claire

[Clur @96clairebear]

@Pytlinskifarms @katyperry 😂😂

[Clur @96clairebear]

It’d be really swell if my Netflix would tell me if a show is in English or not... I’m real tired of clicking on something only to discover it’s not in English and then it being stuck on my “Continue Watching”

[Clur @96clairebear]

Buying fries at McDonald’s is honestly such a gamble... sometimes they’re delicious, hot, crispy and salty and then sometimes they taste like you picked them up out of a puddle next to a dirty diaper and a bandaid in the parking lot at a Walmart.

[SIU Sigma Chi @SigmaChiSIU]

@SigmaAlphaAG will get 2 points for every RT and 1 point for every Like this tweet gets until 4/19 @ 3pm for #SIUDerbyDays2019

[Clur @96clairebear]

Dad- “Here’s a question for you.. if it’s a ravioli then why aren’t they always circular? ‘Olie’ = circle?? They don’t call the square ones ‘ravisquarie’..”

😂🙄

[Clur @96clairebear]

#NewProfilePic

[Clur @96clairebear]

If you ain’t payin’ her attention, somebody else is.

[Clur @96clairebear]

Listening to @MorganCWallen radio on Pandora constantly just gives me a whole new goal for relationships. Can I just marry him?

[Clur @96clairebear]

Ayeeeeee you wanna tick me off, just ask me “what’s your deal?” With when you already know I’m in a bad mood. Smooth move Ex-Lax. 🤨