Tracy Price

[Christopher Hale @ChristopherHale]

Pete Hegseth crashed a civilian plane killing everyone on board.

[Patrick Byrne @PatrickByrne]

If you’re not following this account of a Japanese man abroad in America, you should be.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I needed to move a sofa.

I mentioned this to an American. He said, "You know anybody with a truck?"

I did not know anybody with a truck.

He looked at me with real concern. Not pity. Concern. The way you look at a man who has told you he does not have a name.

"You gotta know somebody with a truck."

I asked how one acquires such a person.

He said, "You just do."

This is the third time I have received that answer in this country. It is the answer to everything here. You just do. There is no process. There is only the eventual fact of having.

He said, "Ask Kevin."

I do not know a Kevin. He said Kevin like I should. He said it the way you say a shared uncle.

I met Kevin four days later. Kevin owns a truck. Kevin does not own a truck for himself. Nobody owns a truck for themselves. Kevin owns a truck for a fifteen mile radius.

Inside I said: THIS MAN HAS TAKEN A VOW. HE DID NOT ANNOUNCE IT. HE SIMPLY PURCHASED A BED AND ACCEPTED THE CONSEQUENCES.

Kevin arrived on Saturday. He brought the truck. He also brought a second man.

I had not asked for a second man.

The second man's name is Tony. Tony came because Kevin came. Tony did not know me. Tony did not ask what we were moving. Tony brought gloves.

They moved the sofa in eleven minutes.

I offered them money. Both of them laughed at the same time, which felt rehearsed and was not.

I asked what I owed them.

Kevin said, "Buy the pizza."

That is the price. That is the entire economy. The truck costs one pizza and the pizza is not negotiable and the pizza is also not expensive and everyone knows what size.

Inside I said: THE FEE IS FIXED ACROSS THE ENTIRE NATION AND WAS SET BY NO ONE.

We ate on the floor because the sofa was against the wall and none of us wanted to be the first to sit on it.

Tony told me his daughter plays soccer. I asked if she is good. He said, "She's aggressive."

I still think about that.

Three weeks later, Kevin texted me.

"You free Sunday? Helping Tony move a fridge."

He did not ask if I wanted to. He informed me of a fridge.

Inside I said: I HAVE BEEN CALLED UP. I DID NOT ENLIST. THE PAPERS WERE FILED ON MY BEHALF.

I went. I moved the fridge. I have no truck. I contributed only arms.

Afterward, a man I had never met asked me if I knew anybody with a truck.

I said, "Yeah, I got a guy."

I have a guy.

I am somebody's guy now, too. Tony has told two people about me.

He describes me as "the guy who's strong for his size."

I have never been prouder of a sentence in my life.

[Saquon Center @SaquonsCenter]

Still one of the greatest moments in Super Bowl history.

[Aaron @_AaronRyan]

Another banger, I’m afraid

[NBA Slime @TerryFranconia]

This is hilarious

[Erin - expert on everything @Kpopggstan1]

Fergie genuinely might be dethroned after this. Like when I first tuned I could not believe this was happening. And the cuts to the players and audience trying to keep it together was KILLING me

[Adam Schwarz @AdamJSchwarz]

Genuinely looks like a scene from a Batman movie where a cartoonishly evil villain somehow makes it onto the airwaves to rant against the establishment.

[BLËUSKI @BleuCapone]

It don’t get no realer than this

[Philadelphia Eagles @Eagles]

Are we even surprised it was QB1?

[Philly Dawgs @PHLDawgs]

Calling Kevin Patullo to thank him for wasting the gift he was handed last season

[Philadelphia 76er LeBron James @Philly_ASA]

Over the middle, huh?

[DUBBY @DubDotDUBBY]

16 play drive just to settle for three and then watching Saquon go to the crib on the first play lololol classic

[That Hurts @That_Hurts]

You know how many balls were seemingly just out of reach for AJ brown last year but you wished he put in a little bit more effort?

Glad to see our WR5 actually cares to give it his all in practice let alone a game.

[East Bay Chris @EastBayChris]

Holy shit. The local news in Chicago aired this image.

[@redaction @redaction]

The full story is about 10x crazier than even this headline implies

They were actually, fully gangstalked on the direct orders of eBay executives

I am not misusing the word "gangstalk" here. It's the only true, verified case of gangstalking that I know of.