If you or your partner are struggling with anal, this might be why…
I wouldn’t recommend poppers or anything like that. I’m no expert, but I'm pretty sure they’re really bad for you, and you don’t need them anyway for anal to feel amazing.
You probably already know the basics... plenty of lube, go slow, and stop if it hurts. But beyond that, it’s mostly mental. Being super turned on and mentally relaxed makes the biggest difference for me. So feeling VERY comfortable with your partner helps too. Comfortable enough to where you don't feel pressured at all.
For me, once I finally got it in, I realised the only thing stopping it before was me not being able to mentally relax. It wasn’t that it couldn’t fit—I just wasn’t letting it. Once I got my head in the right place, it was like, Damn, this isn’t a big deal at all and it feels way nicer than I expected!
It really is more mental than physical. If there’s any anxiety, nervousness, or pressure, you’ll just tighten up, and that’s when it either won’t go in or hurts. That’s why it’s so important to have a partner who helps put you in the right headspace.
Oh, and for lube, I personally prefer water-based. It feels slicker to me. But some people swear by silicone, so try both and see what works best.
If you’re really struggling, a dilator set might help. I didn’t use them until I was working up to bigger toys, but they’re great if you need to start small.
Hope this helps someone 🥰 If you stick with it, once you get it its gonna change your world, I promise!