maryori

[maryori @9Aamis]

http://t.co/xWVuCHR8J3 When I die, I want my ashes scattered in front of the TV.

[maryori @9Aamis]

http://t.co/g2ou1oBIii I'm the designated driver so it's mini bottles in the restroom for me

[maryori @9Aamis]

no saber

[maryori @9Aamis]

http://t.co/OvBgWQgb Nothing has ever bothered me as much as my recent realization that I have never seen bird testicles.

[maryori @9Aamis]

http://t.co/Q3DxJWoI Cop: Whatever you say will be held against you. Me: TEDDYBEARS Cop: Aww.

[maryori @9Aamis]

http://t.co/OvBgWQgb In general, girls don't like to be described as "beefy". Even if you love beef.