According2MyMother

Me: @danielkisaac Mom: see below...

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

Me: You don’t like my smile anymore?
Mom: Every photo has the same mouth shape and looks like a forced laugh

#accordingtomymother 2/2
#happyopeningtome

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

Unprompted texts from my mother (translated):

Mom: When I look at your pictures these days, your smile doesn’t look natural
Mom: They all look the same
Me: (I send her a picture where I think I look genuinely happy on opening night)

#accordingtomymother 1/2

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

Scene: cold and windy day at The Grand Canyon…

Mom: I heavy. I’m not going to flying.

End Scene.

📷: @dchadreed
#accordingtomymother

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

Fancy restaurant offers us a cheese puff amuse bouche. She takes one bite. “Costco is better.” Chefs beware.

📷: @dchadreed

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

Waiting in line for an outdoor COVID test: “I’m the Christmas Tree!!!”

Happy Holidays from this little family to yours!

🎄

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

Saw my mom briefly last month &she was wearing some raggedy sneakers. Asked if she’d worn out the last batch I’d gotten her-in particular an all-red pair of @Allbirds-&she confesses she only wears those on special occasions. “아껴서.” So I bought her some more colors & now this…

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

I…don’t know how to respond to this…

#accordingtomymother
#rationingshoes
#enoughforallmylife
#istherenospringincalifornia?

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

Louis Vuitton vs. Hermès?
Either way, I can’t win...

#accordingtomymother
@LouisVuitton @Hermes_Paris
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

Mother’s Day and the morning after texts with mom...

She is the queen of ultimatums...

How are you encouraging your non-vaccinated friends and family to get the vaccine? I’ll take all the advice please and thank you.

#accordingtomymother

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

Today is the anniversary of my grandmother’s passing. She lost a battle to stomach cancer b4 I was born. (Fuck cancer)
I texted my mom to check in on her & this is what she replied.

I’m😵now

But here’s some pics of my beautiful grandma
Rest in power 할머니

#accordingtomymother

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

#accordingtomymother
#ourtreehasnovitality

(I think trees decorated by gay folx have the Most vitality 💁🏻‍♂️ but what do I know? 🤷🏻‍♂️)

🎄

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

#accordingtomymother #imtooemotionalandblind

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

Will someone please (socially-distanced) play with my mom?

#accordingtomymother #momtexts

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

Dear @geoffkutnick from Troy High School Class of ‘05,

THANK YOU for helping my mom out with groceries yesterday and for being an amazing human being!

#accordingtomymother

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

Happy Valentine’s Day?

#accordingtomymother #getarefund

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

I don’t believe in a “gay gene” but I do believe in gay jeans...
(Also, I don’t believe homosexuality is a sin. Duh.)

#accordingtomymother #momtexts

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

The moral of the story is GO WATCH PARASITE!!!

I rate the movie an A+++ and I rate this Facebook translation an F- for saying I have a “horny voice” when speaking to my mother...

#accordingtomymother

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

My mom really wants me to quit vaping...

#momtexts #accordingtomymother

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

🌈 Happy Pride Month 🌈 from my mother...not!
She gives and takes away...

#accordingtomymother

[According2MyMother @A2MMother]

If you’re ever feeling down, “Expect to tomorrow. You’ll have tomorrow”

#accordingtomymother #momtexts (from Africa!)