Blažej

how is everyone just continuing with their lives without breaking down crying every few hours?

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

I handle my crush’s text notifications like a bomb technician who forgot which wire to cut

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

She literally blocked me

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

@nicerricer We miss you too

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

@lithiumpulse God made her unique. I'm just supporting diversity in His portfolio

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

My aunt just told my mother she wishes her son was more like me. Maam, 11 minutes ago I liked a girl with 3 tits and a double dick on Twitter.

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

@lithiumpulse 25 minutes

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

@lithiumpulse My aunt just told my mother she wishes her son was more like me. Maam, 11 minutes ago I liked a girl with 3 tits and a double dick on Twitter.

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

I want someone who ruins my life in the funniest way possible. Like, steals my hoodie, sits on my face, and then asks if I want coffee like nothing happened

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa fuck

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

I can't wait for AI to invent something that puts me to sleep in one second. Just press a button and I'm gone.

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

Currently lying on the floor with my legs spread like a slut at an orgy, praying for a spinal adjustment instead of a dick

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

Currently lying on the floor with my LEGS spread like a slut at an orgy, praying for a spinal adjustment instead of a dick

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

TRAFFIC TRAFFIC TRAFFIC, FUCK THIS GODDAMN TRAFFIC. EVERY FUCKING ROAD IS A PARKING LOT FULL OF IDIOTS WHO CAN'T FUCKING DRIVE. I'M LOSING MY FUCKING SANITY, MY TIME, AND EVERY LAST DROP OF PATIENCE I HAVE. FUCK THE ROADS, FUCK THE BRAKE LIGHTS

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

I'm attracted to women who look like they could ruin my life and then ask me to rate the experience

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

Every time I think the internet has hit rock bottom, some horny fucking idiot shows up with a shovel and calls it a hot take

[🇺🇸CHRIS🇺🇸 @Buddydawg77]

What’s the big deal ladies? 🤷🤣🤣😂🤣🤣

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

really want a relationship

*masturbates*

I don't want a relationship

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

iPhone users mock Android for fragmentation, then camp outside a store for a phone that's 98% identical to the one in their pocket

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

I’m basically a what the fuck was that? in human form

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

Humidity so high I’m basically breathing someone elses shower

[Blažej @ABBlazej]

My brain at 3 AM: Let's replay that slightly awkward thing you said to a cashier in 2015