Ian Aber

⚡️Ian Aber⚡️ ⚡️Comedian⚡️ ⚡️Writer⚡️ ⚡️ GrillBoss⚡️ ┌∩┐ᶘ ͡°ᴥ͡°ᶅ┌∩┐ ⚡️

[Rebekah Jones @GeoRebekah]

💀💀💀💀💀

[Ian Aber @ABearComedian]

Just imagine,
someone thinks
about Dax Shepard
when they jerk off

and that
someone is
@DaxShepard

[Ian Aber @ABearComedian]

If Trump is not gay, why he building a ballroom and not a grab her by the pussy room

v sus
v zesty

[Ian Aber @ABearComedian]

If Annie Lennox pushed Joaquin Phoenix through a plate glass window,
he’d be Joaquin on Joaquin on Joaquin on broken glass

[Ian Aber @ABearComedian]

@FBIDirectorKash You did all this while eating meatballs 🧐

[Ian Aber @ABearComedian]

Mature = old
Seasoned = old and salty
Worldly = old and a know it all
Grown = old and groans about it
Stable = old and finally got them meds right
Old soul = old and a wet blanket
Well-rounded = old and fat
Experienced = old and ran through

[Ian Aber @ABearComedian]

Would it be faster to make a list of billionaires that are not pedophiles?

[Ian Aber @ABearComedian]

@zzdoublezz if you were going on a day date to a pumpkin patch, the fit is correct

[Ian Aber @ABearComedian]

Zins of the Zaddy > Sin of the Fater

[Ian Aber @ABearComedian]

When you string
enough
"hot takes"
together,
what you get
is what
we used
to call
a
"terrible personality"

[Ian Aber @ABearComedian]

@TheKandyMuse Something. Something. STAR QUALITY

[Ian Aber @ABearComedian]

Assigned “Gulf Of Mexico” at birth
But now identifies as “Gulf Of America”

Love. That. For. They. Them.

[Ian Aber @ABearComedian]

Kendrick Lamar was wearing women’s jeans

[Ian Aber @ABearComedian]

Whatever Ben Affleck has, it’s definitely full blown

[Ian Aber @ABearComedian]

Straight men,
If you are wearing
a football blouse
while watching
The Super Bowl

YOU ARE IN DRAG!

and have been reported to the authorities!

[Ian Aber @ABearComedian]

@therealroseanne @harryjsisson And you really seem to enjoy be bipolar

[Ian Aber @ABearComedian]

Straight men,
Salted Caramel is a gateway flavor to jizz.

[Ian Aber @ABearComedian]

Country music journalism is all about

Who
What
When
Where
and
Wynonna?

[ChaCha Wigs Fulfillment Center @JahnZilch]

she had it comin!
congrats to hormona lisa on being (coincidentally) cast as mona in chicago.

[Ian Aber @ABearComedian]

@guybranum c'mon Goddess!! congrats!