'It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men' - Fred. Douglass.
Platform voor moedig bewustzijn rondom #ACEs door #verbinding en #compassie!
We did not just have a great conversation with @suzannezeedyk, but also with @ShivieArgyle who spoke about the musical she wrote about the impressive children's book 'The Little Iceberg', dealing with childhood trauma in a gentle way. Here you can listen: https://t.co/AGuazelwS3
It took a bit of time to get it done, but here it is: the podcast with the amazing @suzannezeedyk from @connectedbaby ! https://t.co/USQnIw8prr She tells the beautiful story of how the Scottish #ACEs movement came into being & how it created such a change! Hats of - thx, Sue! ❤️
Wat een mooie uitleg bij dit filmpje! En een heel belangrijke boodschap is de basis: jonge kinderen kijken naar ons om te zien hoe de wereld in elkaar zit en zoeken coregulatie bij ons voor hun emoties. Dat betekent dat het er wezenlijk toe doet hoe goed we zelf gereguleerd zijn.
Your baby looks to you for emotional guidance.
There’s another unfortunate “viral trend” circulating on social media that I’ve declined to share, despite the actual lesson it illustrates.
In these videos, a parent carrying an infant walks through a doorway.
As they do, the adult covertly bangs a hand on the doorframe, mimicking the sound it might have made if their child had accidentally bumped their head against the wall.
Despite the child having had no contact whatsoever, the parent in this “experiment” reacts as though they had, expressing concern and stepping in to comfort the baby after an “injury” that never actually occurred.
You can probably guess the rest. The baby cries.
(Which, like that idiotic egg cracking challenge, is why I’ve never shared any of these videos. While there is an actual child development lesson to be learned here, let me again state for the record: Please don’t traumatize your child, however briefly, for social media likes. Just don’t.)
Now about that child development lesson…
Here’s a video that teaches it in reverse.
Rather than a concocted injury, this little guy slips and actually does bump his head.
It’s not a big injury, probably more startling than anything, but no question it was probably a little painful.
Watch how both he and mom react in the immediate aftermath.
His eyes lock onto her.
And her reaction?
“Whoops!” What did you do?”
She doesn’t overreact or come in rushing initially.
Instead she acknowledges him with a smile and a tone of voice that provides reassurance.
Which leads, not to tears, but to a slight giggle on his part… which prompts an even bigger one on her part.
The lesson here is that your child relies heavily on YOUR emotional state for cues as to what theirs should be.
In one example a parent’s startled reaction to an injury that never even happened prompts tears. While here, an injury that might reasonably have prompted them, is averted by a reaction that communicates that:
1accidents happen, and
2you are safe.
Always remember that your baby is watching and learning from how YOU react to the situations you encounter together.
This example of gold medal momming was shared to IG by lauraelizabethgraham.
Heartbreaking it is, the constant repetition of unhealed pain. 'Hurt people hurt people's, they sometimes say and this seems a clear example.
Whatever we can do to heal our own pain, contributes to world peace.
@suzannezeedyk points out that a shame-based way of conditioning children and running a school has serious consequences for how children's stress systems develop and how their personal attitude then focuses on pleasing and fawning. There is still so much to reflect on...
“I want adults to always think positively of me.”
This is a shame-based way of raising children & running a school. It leads to a stress system that solves anxiety through people-pleasing & fawning.
Sinds gisteren is Deel 3 online van de blogserie over 'Esther' en hoe zij de weg naar boven vond uit het diepe dal van haar postpartum depressie. Ze heeft bewonderenswaardig aan haar pijn gewerkt en ervaart weer vreugde! Je leest haar verhaal hier: https://t.co/oYIVvQUXeo
Since yesterday, Part 3 of the blog series about 'Esther' is online. The story tells her journey of finding the way back out of her postpartum depression. She admirably worked on her pain and can feel joy again! You can read her story here: https://t.co/3PxatcdwTp
Breathing... a tool that we always have available when situations threaten to overwhelm us. It can help us stay in close touch with our body.
In this song, part of the musical about #TheLittleIceberg we sing along with @ShivieArgyle to get focussed again - beautiful!
After our lunch break, @ShivieArgyle transitioned us back into the Immersive Experience. Siobhan performed Breathe, an interactive exert from The Little Iceberg Musical.
#AceAwareNation#GaborImmersive23
If the number of human beings are troubled, violent to each other then we have to say what is the toxicity in the culture? @DrGaborMate work is energy against resistance #ACEAwareNation#GaborImmersive23 talking about our relationships to the work #RLP