ACPS Express Pitchbot

"Up-and-coming ACPS parody account" - AlxNow
ACPS' most-read newsletter
NOT affiliated with ACPSk12 or ACPS Express

[ACPS Express Pitchbot @ACPSPitchBot]

Interested in joining @ACPSPitchBot's first-rate team of reporters? Apply now: https://t.co/wV4tibe0Zy Salary starting at 1 moldy bagel per hour

[ACPS Express Pitchbot @ACPSPitchBot]

BREAKING: Thai Peppers Alexandria to close so owners can “start a new Sportsball Club in Bangkok,” family says

[ACPS Express Pitchbot @ACPSPitchBot]

BREAKING: Council in discussion to create a Sportsball lane along Braddock Road, plans to solicit comments

[ACPS Express Pitchbot @ACPSPitchBot]

JUST IN: @Gabriel3lias to deliver the Sportsball reponse to SOTU, B300s bird to be special guest

[ACPS Express Pitchbot @ACPSPitchBot]

Congratulations to Pitchbot readers @KirkMcPike @EBPforVA on bringing Sportsball to Richmond!

[ACPS Express Pitchbot @ACPSPitchBot]

At this Alexandria diner, business has been going as usual.

Until one customer said the HD-5 firehouse primary should have been conducted in 5 minutes:

[ACPS Express Pitchbot @ACPSPitchBot]

@grok This is actually true because this is a news account which c greater hard-hitting journalistic content. Educate yourself.

[ACPS Express Pitchbot @ACPSPitchBot]

BREAKING @Gabriel3lias considers running for @VASenate as Sportsball nominee

[ACPS Express Pitchbot @ACPSPitchBot]

JUST IN: Sportsball CEO caught playing soccer, put on probation

[ACPS Express Pitchbot @ACPSPitchBot]

BREAKING: Former Mayor Justin Wilson to introduce Sportsball to NOVA Parks

[ACPS Express Pitchbot @ACPSPitchBot]

LET’S GO ALX: City celebrates Wegmans’ 5th year

[ACPS Express Pitchbot @ACPSPitchBot]

Here for Sportsball

[ACPS Express Pitchbot @ACPSPitchBot]

BREAKING: @Gabriel3lias announces VA-11 congressional campaign, promises to bring Sportsball to nation

[ACPS Express Pitchbot @ACPSPitchBot]

JUST IN: @PrincipalTitan leaves ACHS to start Sportsball chapter at W&L, sources say

[ACPS Express Pitchbot @ACPSPitchBot]

At a Sportsball game @ Frankman Field
@ZebraAlexandria

[ACPS Express Pitchbot @ACPSPitchBot]

@james_libresco @JessicaWehrman Future pitchbot editor!

[James Libresco @james_libresco]

Excellent piece by @karina_elwood for @washingtonpost highlighting my high school newspaper’s fight against censorship.

The freedom of the press is not an “outlier,” @ACPSk12. It’s an obligation.

https://t.co/NRtZRlqjuQ

[Brandon Jarvis @Jaaavis]

If the Alexandria School Board wants to censor their high school student reporters, maybe all of the reporters in the state should put more attention on covering the members and actions of the School Board. I have free time.

https://t.co/Qd660fshnm

[ACPS Express Pitchbot @ACPSPitchBot]

Not a joke:

[James Libresco @james_libresco]

@Jaaavis Please help Theogony! https://t.co/UcCJPihIOT

[ACPS Express Pitchbot @ACPSPitchBot]

JUST IN: @ACTheogony to shift operations to Pitchbot to avoid censorship