Chase McCann

Bossy, sarcastic ginger marries an engineer who thinks he's funny, then writes about it.

He has to tell me he loves me every time he says something stupid.

[Chase McCann @ACWMH]

If anyone's looking for GOOD reasons to get married, I wrote a guest post for @Blondewritemore about it. https://t.co/FRpF3iDTL2

[Chase McCann @ACWMH]

Not how HIPAA works, hon.

Now, if YOUR DOCTOR jumped in and answered the question, HE would be in violation of HIPAA.

[Acyn @Acyn]

Question: Have you yourself been vaccinated?
Greene: Your first question is a violation of my HIPAA rights

[Soren Bowie @Soren_Ltd]

I will never write dialogue this funny in my whole life.

[Chase McCann @ACWMH]

@TheAndrewNadeau @GroovyTasia Nailed It, then. Trust me, you won't want to eat anything they make.

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

Imagine building your entire career on pretending you understand the market and being undone by the people that call them stonks.

[Chase McCann @ACWMH]

Husband's co-workers just heard me ask "do you need to poop?"

How's your day going?

[Chase McCann @ACWMH]

@SKTDinosaurs This. Is. STUNNING.

[TwistedDoodles @twisteddoodles]

Suddenly a global pandemic is no longer the most chaotic thing going on right now.
Well done 2021.

[Michael McKean @MJMcKean]

Hey, Manson didn’t stab anyone. Incitement is a real crime.

[Jess Dweck @TheDweck]

Just our luck that this is the one country we won’t send the military into to restore democracy

[Chase McCann @ACWMH]

Who calls to talk politics on Christmas?

My mother-in-law, that's who.

Hope you're all having a painless, lecture-free holiday.

[Chase McCann @ACWMH]

Just realized 2020 is almost over and my greatest accomplishment might be learning to get dressed with a bird on my shoulder.

[Chase McCann @ACWMH]

I promise, it's not too late to watch every one of these films before Christmas morning. So technically, I'M not late. https://t.co/jFVLzhHGCQ

[Chase McCann @ACWMH]

Some of you got all your shopping done weeks or months ago. This post isn't for you, but you might still enjoy it! https://t.co/IYQIs4Fx7J

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

I tell my cat “I know” whenever she meows but I’m gonna be honest, I have no fucking idea

[Chase McCann @ACWMH]

In which my life gets a whole lot better... and messier... and noisier. https://t.co/KWAl2hafMD

[Katie Rogers @katierogers]

"President Trump was following my condition and cleared me for the monoclonal antibody therapy that he had previously received, which I am convinced saved my life.” Wonder how families of the 1,900 who died today feel when they see stuff like this. https://t.co/8U9sPcFssh

[TwistedDoodles @twisteddoodles]

Unicorn says: feel what you’re feeling.

[Chase McCann @ACWMH]

In which I spill as many of the beans as I'm allowed, which is proof that I shouldn't be considered a responsible adult. https://t.co/iG1cHKyw1t

[Chase McCann @ACWMH]

I got suspended once for not verifying my identity immediately.

But this is fine too, I guess.

[Reuters @Reuters]

Mark Zuckerberg told an all-staff meeting that Steve Bannon has not violated enough policies to be suspended from Facebook. The ex-Trump adviser suggested in a now-removed video that FBI Director Christopher Wray and Dr. Anthony Fauci should be beheaded https://t.co/pDbUtx7ZhM

[Jenny Lawson @TheBloggess]

This needs to be a worldwide tradition immediately.