Alex Contento

[Matteo @mchads_]

He was ass today but I’ll still go to the grave with Jalen Hurts that’s my QB idc idc

[Eagles on Real @BirdsOnReal]

The only thing I know that could save this team.

[helen @helen]

let’s be real the best invention of the last five years is not chatgpt. it’s nerds gummy clusters

[Big Choctaw @Derekalexander_]

sorry i didn't text back i got writer's block

[Philadelphia 76er LeBron James @Philly_ASA]

NGL it felt pretty good to me

[Marlo Stanfield @BooRxdley]

I’m sick of hearing “I just don’t see the Chiefs starting 0-2”

You bout to see it.

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

Why are u as a man blonde……,

[cai0* @mclr4n]

i miss but i miss
you sparkling

[paris rae @parisrae13]

so happy for my close personal friend taylor swift

[justina @justinagaboda]

yo

[Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters]

Moms will send texts like

“Hey kids! Dad’s full body transplant went well thank god 🙏 We’ve known about it for months but didn’t want to worry you! Also I quit my job and we moved to Florida. Text Aunt Laura for her birthday.”

[lauren @winonaddict]

imagine them having to scan a QR code for the menu

[iya ★ @hotmessjunk]

soooooooo i’llllllllll waaaaaatch yoouuur liiiiiifeeee in picccttureees likeeeee i useeeddd to waaaatchhhh you BREATHE

[a @aallleeexxxxxx1]

revisiting a situationship from 3 years ago with one of the worst men i have ever known. but it’s summer so it’s ok. you can kind of do anything in the summer