Derek Zoolander

created by @neilkod. available for twitter or data-related projects

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

I'm done,Jaco. I got a prostate the size of a honeydew...and a head full of bad memories.

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

What is this? A center for ants?

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you, Walter Cronkite... you aren't.

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

Wait a minute. I know that hand. It was in the fall Bulova watch catalog.

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

The designer's got your nuts in a vise...offering you ten million plus three percent...of every pair of underwear sold.

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

I invented the piano key neck tie! I invented it! What have you done, Derek? Nothing!

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an after-funeral party to attend.

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

Wait a minute. I might just have an idea. They'll be looking for us at Maury's right? But they won't be looking for... not us.

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you, Walter Cronkite... you aren't.

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

I'm pretty sure there's more to life than being really, really ridiculously good looking, and I plan on finding out what that is

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

Your work...in the winter International Male catalog...made me want to be a model. I freakin' worship you, man.

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

What are you gonna do? Screw him! Hold out for more! That's what I'm talking about!

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

Wait a minute. I know that hand. It was in the fall Bulova watch catalog.

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

MAGNUM!

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

A eugoogalizor, one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a eugoogoly was?

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

So I became...What? Bulimic. You can read minds?

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it.

[Derek Zoolander @ACenterForAnts]

I love that kid. Dumb as a stump, but I love him.