🇺🇸 Æthelstan 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

30 | Married | Christian ✟ | Anti-Communist

Pronouns: Tyrant Lizard/King

Art by @MechanicalMons4

[Crust 🇻🇦🇺🇦 @RapistBanderite]

twitter catholics when God offers them a woman

[🦬 𝕸𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖜 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖊𝖗 🦬 @DarthHarryson]

"The ELCA is in full communion with the PCUSA, UCC, RCA, UMC, TEC, and Moravians."

[Frank McCormick @CBHeresy]

So I’m not washing my hair anymore. Apparently you’re not allowed to say that. Watch how angry people get.

I looked at my shampoo yesterday. Really looked at it. “Dead Sea minerals.”

Oh. Interesting.

So I’m standing naked in my own bathroom, and somehow Israel is involved. How did that happen? I wanted clean hair. I didn’t ask for a strategic partnership.

And the instructions? “Lather. Rinse. Repeat.”

Repeat? For how long? What’s the exit strategy? Nobody can tell you. You’re just supposed to keep doing it. Forever.

Then my wife says, “Tucker, please. You smell.”

I love my wife. Wonderful woman. But notice she didn’t address a single one of my questions. She went straight to the personal attack. That’s what they do when they’re losing.

Look, I’m not against washing hair. I’m against mandatory American participation in washing hair.

If Netanyahu wants these minerals on my head so badly, he can come over here and explain why.

Until then, the oils stay.

[Boogie @boogietothemax]

A white guy can’t spell the word Discipline which means we have to be cool with letting 5 trillion Somalian guys who also can’t spell the word Discipline into the country

[Blake Kresses @BlakeKresses]

“We sealed the border and are getting illegal immigrants the hell out of our country.”

[Gerald Morgan Jr @GmorganJr]

For some reason, we don't remember just how bad it was prior to Trump 2.0 on immigration, free speech & trans agenda.

[🇺🇸 Æthelstan 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @AEthelstan_IDSQ]

@benglickenhaus It seems like I misjudged your character. I'm used to seeing the phrase "wife guy" thrown around as a slur.
God bless you and your family.

[🇺🇸 Æthelstan 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @AEthelstan_IDSQ]

I cannot fathom hating your wife so much you wouldn't want to play a cute little cat game with her if it makes her happy. Extremely boomer coded.

[Benjamin Glickenhaus @benglickenhaus]

wife guys everywhere weeping tears of joy

[FreedomToons @Freedom_Toons]

The prophecy has been fulfilled

[🇺🇸 Æthelstan 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @AEthelstan_IDSQ]

My chud Arma group in the background while I'm trying to listen to the command radio.

[alyssa 🦭 @mistapussy]

please watch this w the volume on im crying

[Cash_Nicholson @Cash_Nicholson]

John spoke maybe 5 times during this entire three and a half hour ‘debate’ and I noticed two things every time he spoke:

1. Everyone got quiet to let him speak (There was a lot of interrupting in this ‘debate’)

2. Everything he said hit quick and hard. No wasted words.

[🇺🇸 Æthelstan 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @AEthelstan_IDSQ]

This timeless classic has once again proven to be correct.

[Cynthia 🏳️‍⚧️ @CaMarsey]

@RT_com So now fishing is bad just because Brown people are the ones doing it to survive? You bad faith conservatives make me sick.

[National Revival @REVIVALNATIONAL]

The bravest thing you can be in the world today is a Patriot who supports Donald Trump.

[Gobbo @Gobbongis]

@bunpilledcath

[🇺🇸 Æthelstan 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @AEthelstan_IDSQ]

@HowlingLandlord It's very odd seeing him being calm and collected, even sweet to the waitress.

[🇺🇸 Æthelstan 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @AEthelstan_IDSQ]

@Gobbongis They're so trad and based and traditional, so much so they worship tung tung tung sahur.

[Gobbo @Gobbongis]

we're trad here bro we got wooden idols jorkin their peens bro we're so masculine bro we carve willies bro.

[The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind - GotY Edition @MorrowindGOTY]

jason schreier made up a story about employees drinking boobie milk and now my comfort game is being used like a prom night whore as an outlet for repressed millennial cat moms

[🇺🇸 Æthelstan 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @AEthelstan_IDSQ]

@JackieBartender @Ranting_Trans It's so much simpler than that. Frankly it's so simple your head will spin.

It's actually insanely disgusting to have a prostitute as a girlfriend/wife. Simple as.