Andrew Hager

“I have no money, no resources, no hope. I am the happiest man alive.” —Henry Miller

[Andrew Hager @AHagerRedux]

Goodbye, Twitter!

Folks, if you find yourself at Bluesky, look me up!

[Andrew Hager @AHagerRedux]

@BilgeEbiri Want to dance?

[David Simon @AoDespair]

Be advised that this entire hellsite will become a rancid cesspool of lies and disinformation tonight and through the next several days. It was purchased and restructured for this precise purpose. Expect nothing less than a projectile vomiting of hype, falsehoods and petulant rage. And, of course, keep moving forward and toward the light. We can do this.

[Andrew Hager @AHagerRedux]

How are you going to keep them happy in Pyongyang after they’ve seen PornHub?

[Gideon Rachman @gideonrachman]

A usually reliable source tells me that the North Korean soldiers who have deployed to Russia have never had unfettered access to the internet before. As a result, they are gorging on pornography.

[Alex Shephard @alex_shephard]

she just found out Juror #2 is only in theaters for two more days

[Andrew Hager @AHagerRedux]

@WajahatAli I don’t know how they soften the position on abortion after spending four decades of getting people so angry and passionate about it.

[Wesley Steinberg @WesSteinberg]

#Giants QB Daniel Jones told his teammates that he doesn’t vote.

Malik Nabers turned around and said so your decision making is just as bad off the field too?

Everyone laughed, great moment.

[Baltimore Sun Guild ☀️ @baltsunguild]

The Letter to the Editor that the Baltimore Sun won't publish:

[Andrew Hager @AHagerRedux]

@jessehawken Hopefully, he lands in a garbage truck.

[Andrew Hager @AHagerRedux]

@SamuelAAdams He’s participating in a clinical trial involving psychedelic mushrooms.

[Justin Sherin @wychstreet]

Quincy Jones bought drugs from Malcolm X, exclaimed 'My man's got pimp shoes on!' when he met the Pope, & dared say of T*ylor S*ift, 'I hear the hook, but where's the song?' There's gunslingers and gunslingers.

[Andrew Hager @AHagerRedux]

@MrsAlSwearengen I was thinking the local marijuana dispensary might have a line around the block.

[The Daily @CriterionDaily]

Quincy Jones, the producer, songwriter, composer, and arranger who worked with Frank Sinatra and Michael Jackson, Norman Jewison and Steven Spielberg, has died at 91.

@guardian — https://t.co/niYtndgJQw

[Kelly Carlin-McCall @kelly_carlin]

It is.

[Andrew Hager @AHagerRedux]

@Glenn__Kenny Me and Rubio
Down by the schoolyard

[Andrew Hager @AHagerRedux]

@HurleyMania @dick_nixon I’m hoping it gets called shortly after California reports.

[Andrew Hager @AHagerRedux]

@YinzerSTILLinOH He used to be on here. I haven’t seen him in a while.

[Andrew Hager @AHagerRedux]

In my house, “Boebert” is now a verb meaning “to jerk someone off in a theater.” It’s not a common activity, but the word has its uses.

“How did you like the play?”

“I got so excited, I started to Boebert my date during Act Two.”

[Andrew Hager @AHagerRedux]

@ThisIsFinley Jesus