Clean Daily Jokes

AJokeADay pays cash prizes to the top 10 most popular jokes each week.

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

A counselor was helping his kids put their stuff away on their first morning in summer camp. He was surprised to see one of the youngsters had an umbrella.

The counselor asked, "Why did you bring an umbrella to camp?"

The kid answered, "Did you ever have a mother?

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

Computers used to be user-friendly...

Now they are just downright flirtatious!

Vote for this #joke at https://t.co/0wjYhuXMnV

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

What does a tree drink?

Root beer.

Vote for this #joke at https://t.co/PqLiqjRGJg

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Opportunity!

That is impossible. Opportunity doesn’t come knocking twice!

Vote for this #joke at https://t.co/POxj9N1LhF

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

Grampa (attempting to fix a toy): "Vinnie, give me your free hand."

Vinnie: "I don't have free hands, Grampa."

Grampa: "Sure you do, Vinnie. Just give me your free hand."

Vinnie (exasperated): "I don't HAVE free hands, Grampa! I only have TWO!"

https://t.co/h9cEWqQ3bR

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

Two young boys were playing. One of them was showing off his new water pistol.

"Tell your mom you want one of these too. Then we can shoot water at each other!" he exclaimed.

" I don't think so," said the other boy. "My mom says we have hard water!"

https://t.co/14uqERJOJL

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

A husband comes in from the garage. His wife asks, "What's wrong?"

He replies, "I lost something. I thought I had put it somewhere safe in the garage."

"How many safe places are there in the garage?"

"Clearly one more than I can remember."

#Joke at https://t.co/NNheSWgkem

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

What’s the first thing sea animals learn in school?

Their A-B-Seas.

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[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

How does the ocean say hello?

It waves!

Vote for this #joke at https://t.co/vuOxHCxC3c

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

Q: If you are in a dark room with a candle, a wood stove, a match, and a gas lamp which do you light first?

A: Why that is easy, the match of course.

Vote for this joke at https://t.co/qZtckihhxD

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

The girl drove to the shopping mall and found a parking spot which had a sign that read, "1 Hour Only,"

She wanted two hours to shop, so she parked across two spaces.

Vote for this #joke at https://t.co/W5hn5LsXXv

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

I was playing badminton.

So I took some classes and they are paying off.

Now, I play goodminton.

Vote for this #joke at https://t.co/87g1VpSX3G

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

What do cows listen to on their headphones?

Moo-sic!

This #joke won $12 at https://t.co/fAoXeB4xIA

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

April teaches aerobic classes and told a lady who was looking to sign up for the class to wear loose-fitting clothing to the class.

"Honey," the lady replied, "if I had any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't be signing up for an exercise class."

#joke @ https://t.co/1JPnlUfgNU

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

A man asks his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?"

His wife says, "Take half and leave you."

The man replies, "Great! I won 12 bucks, here is six, now get out!"

Vote for this #joke at https://t.co/skuzk1Mhmc

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

#Joke

Guy 1: "Hey, have you met my vegetarian girlfriend?"

Guy 2: "Nah, I've never met herbivore."

Vote at https://t.co/jmfHOUIvdn

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

@ConstParty_MA Thanks for the feedback! We'll post more so your feed gets updated with new jokes more regularly. Hope you're getting a laugh!

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

#joke

"I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59."

"Why is that?"

"Because I like that one to one time.”

Vote at https://t.co/UwuyERzAKt

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

A duck is standing next to a busy road, cars zooming past while he waits for a break in traffic.

A chicken walks up to him and says, "Don't do it, man. You'll never hear the end of it."

Vote for this #joke at https://t.co/5nwP316vsP

[Clean Daily Jokes @AJokeADayClean]

#Joke

A horse walks into a bar...

... the trainer says, "Next time, jump!"

Vote at https://t.co/feCAkHKMwx