Alphonze

Here to serve my captains and find out what I want to do with my life now that I have free will || Taken 🐼❤️⚙️

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

⚙️: He/They, Ace
Ooc: Jade (They/Them, Fae/Faer, Ly/Lyr)

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 I was just about to suggest the same thing myself. It’s not weird at all.

[ He’ll move to sit fully on the floor, patting his lap for bucky. He likes dogs. this one especially. ]

Maybe marigolds too? I don’t know.

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 Who cares? All that matters is that you like them.

[ He crouches down, petting bucky behind both ears. he’s cool like that. ]

Hi bud.

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 I’m sure there’s someone you can pass it to. I don’t know.

[ He drums his fingers against the counter. ]

I’d like to have daisies in mine. I don’t know what else. I like daisies though.

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 [ He nods absentmindedly, grateful for the space. ]

One of us could. I wouldn’t mind it. It could be nice.

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 Uh, no. No, we haven’t.

[ His shoulder drop a little as he leans back against the counter. That anxiety is still there. that guilt. but for gryffon’s sake he can pretend it’s not. ]

What were you thinking?

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 I love you too. I’m- I’m sorry. I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Can- Can we do something else? Please?

[ He’s lying. He wants to get it all out. But Gryffon doesn’t. And just trying to convince him hurts. It’s better to just not. ]

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 [ After a moment of silence he gently pulls his hands back from Gryffon. ]

..I’m sorry. I’m making this about myself. You’re the one that- Well. I shouldn’t be questioning you. I apologize.

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 But it’s still hurting /you/.

[ His eyes flicker again. He closes them. ]

/I’m/ still hurting you.

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 [ He frowns at the affection, feeling very undeserving of it all. ]

I shouldn’t have done it in the first place. It /was/ my fault. I knew it was bad. I should’ve flicked that damn switch until I was better. Or- I don’t know. There’s so many things I could’ve done instead.

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 I’m the one that did those things though. It was me. I put those memories there. It’s my fault.

[ He shakes his head, free hand coming up to clutch at his shirt. ]

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 I don’t- I don’t want you to be scared of me. That’s not good, Gryffon.

[ He wants to put more space between them, but he’s already pressed against the counter. His free hand shakes. His eyes flicker. ]

I don’t want to keep hurting you.

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 Someone should be there. To mediate. To..To help you if I can’t. I don’t know.

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 I think…Maybe we shouldn’t talk about it /alone/.

[ He squeezes Gryffon’s hand. Its warm. He likes warm. ]

Because I don’t know how much help I’ll be. Considering..

[ ‘I’m the one that hurt you.’ ]

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 You can’t. Not- Not with this. I’m sorry.

[ His hand feels wrong in Gryffon’s. It is a selfish creature. It doesn’t deserve this. ]

Maybe we just…I don’t know. I don’t want to ignore it but you don’t want to talk about it so I don’t know what to do.

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 You are. I know you are. Please don’t lie to try and comfort me. It doesn’t help.

[ The guilt practically consumes him. He reaches out, grabbing Gryffon’s hand. It’s really more for his partner’s sake. But he’s always been a little selfish. ]

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 [ ‘It doesn’t have to.’ He wants to say. To open his chest and flip that damn switch. He won’t. That will just hurt Gryffon more. ]

I’m sorry..

[ He just stares at Gryffon’s hand, not moving closer. It’s his fault. He should be the one extending comfort. ]

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 [ He steps back, back pressing into the counter behind him. He craves the touch. The comfort. But he doesn’t deserve it. He really doesn’t. ]

It’s fine. I’m fine. Sorry for..snapping at you. You didn’t deserve that.

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 [ A pause. He hates this. so much. ]

I’m sorry.

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 [ He goes to speak but there are no words. His hands fall. Shoulders too. Gods. He is a terrible partner.

He looks down at the cutting board, shaky hands balling into fists at his sides. He needs to get better already. so there aren’t any empty promises. ]

…Okay.
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[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 What do you want from me? How am I supposed to be? I don’t know! I don’t. I’m trying.

[Alphonze @ALPH0NZE_]

@gryffonjrw1 I dont know what you want from me!

[ The cutting board clatters to the ground when they turn to face him, hands thrown up in the air. ]

Gryffon, I /want/ to help you. I dont- I dont know /how/. Not with this. I don’t have a program for this. There’s no protocol. What do I do?
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