A New York Gay

Often critical, usually sarcastic, and sometimes even right.

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

Wondering what it would take me to yell at a server. Like if I ordered a pizza and they brought me a bowl of snakes? But I’d probably still just be like, “I’m sorry I think you brought me someone else’s snakes.”

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

I’m not a fin dom I just want to get on the housing ladder

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

How does a non binary ninja destroy their adversary?

They slash them.

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

It’s not barebacking. It’s carbon neutral intercourse.

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

@limebike How do the phone holders work?? Can’t figure it out for the life of me

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

Me: I’m not needy. Also me: Asking the evil presence in the room if it’s mad at me.

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

Straight dick just tastes better

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

Fuck me with a spoon until I’m hard.

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

Oh, so god can kill his own son but I can't?

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

My doctor said I had to stop masturbating. When I asked him why, he said because he's trying to examine me.

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

I'm having an awful day. Then for moment after I farted I thought I'd shat myself a tiny bit. I hadn't, and suddenly today doesn't seem so bad anymore. There's a lesson there somewhere.

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

I spill so much red wine on my carpets I should just get merlot colored ones installed

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

Jpeg is french for "I'm pegging"

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

If cats could text you back they wouldn't

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

I just want the love of a healthy relationship and the sex of a toxic one

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

It's funny how our taste buds evolve.
Me as a kid: I hate spinach
Me as an adult: I love eating ass

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

Idea: therapy lessons where you eat pasta, drink wine, and talk about problems. Called: "Penne for your thoughts"

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

My spirit animal is a bull because I face plant into red flags all the time

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

Finally requested my data from Amazon

[A New York Gay @ANewYorkGay]

Do beavers know what they're doing or do they just see water flowing down a river and think "absolutely not"