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Hates acronyms, but loves DFK. Tall, dark and handsome...well, if you turn down the lights, I’m definitely tall and dark at least.

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One of the basil plants I planted died for some reason while the others are doing well so far. I’m really sad about that. Now I still have 5 other basil plants, but still 🤷‍♂️

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Oof. Just had a IRL date cancel on me last minute. At least she didn’t use the emergency call 5 minutes after we sat down routine and did it before I started leaving 🤷‍♂️ Ah well. Time for an impromptu massage maybe then as I’m all dressed up with nowhere to go…

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This has to be my favourite profile I’ve seen so far:
You: no pets, no kids, no camping, no ENM, must be over 6 feet.
Me: I’m open minded.
It gave me a good giggle, thank you random lady on Bumble. 😆

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Just got unmatched while making a comment about a TV we both like…is it too hot of a take to say that Ron Swanson had the best mustache on TV 🤔🥸

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I’m getting targeted ads for shoes with lifts in them. 🤷‍♂️ Am I shrinking? No, I measured myself and I’m exactly 6 feet. Is that considered short now? 😬

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@LilaTaylor76 Oh man! We need to go get some now 😊

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Happy Valentine’s Day! My Valentine loved her present…I’m going to have to try to get a human Valentine one of these days though! Although she may not be as big of a fan of the salmon wrapped bone treats 🤔

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@puttanescapizza Wishing you all the best on this next journey! PS I enjoy Puttanesca pasta, but capers on a pizza is giving me some pause...will have to try it :)

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Amazon was selling some chocolates that I like at a reduced price- I got this box of cleaning solution instead. Message received Amazon: Clean your dirty house instead, fat @ss! 🤷‍♂️

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The ex Prime Minister’s ex wife’s profile showed up on my dating app 😮 He gets to date Katy Perry and she gets lame dudes like me sending her online pathetic pick up lines? That’s not fair!

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I hit my garage door with my car backing out today- it didn’t go all the way up and I nicked it backing up…it made quite the unpleasant and unexpected sound! Called the garage repairman after I changed my underwear 🙀 (kidding on the last part…still really startled…)

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A woman on her dating profile wrote as part of her profile ‘no viagara boys (iykyk) and no ski hills (iykyk)’. I was able to figure out the first 1, but stumped on the “ski hill.’ My online research shows either a sexual act or cocaine mixed with ketamine? 🤷‍♂️

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Just swapped out some light switches with timers at my house…they work great and I didn’t electrocute myself! 2026 is going to be a year of me being totally handy and masculine…now off to my glass of sparkling rosé!

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A woman on her dating profile wrote to not bother swiping right if you don't know what a 'packout' is- even after I Googled it, I'm still not 100 percent sure...so left swipe it is, I guess 🤷‍♂️

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A woman on her dating profile said (presumably looking for a male partner) that all men in Ottawa are broke and ugly! Madam, I may not have any money and am very unattractive, but…oh wait…I may be a little sensitive, but I think I will pass and swipe left on her profile 🤷‍♂️

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Day 2 of surgery recovery and my biggest regret was forgetting to remind the nurses in the OR before I passed out about ���shrinkage’ as it was cold in there 🥶🍆🤷‍♂️ Medical professionals know, right? Anyway, feeling good and recuperating with my dog, so all good!

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Jays Game 7 tonight! As a Toronto sports fan, game 7’s usually don’t go great 😬. I’m going to be optimistic and book a celebratory session for tomorrow…and if they lose, I can easily change it to a mournful one- kisses make everything better, right? Either way, I’m covered 🤔

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I just got my carpeted stairs and couch steam-cleaned and I am elated how great they look! I want to go out and celebrate! My life priorities may be out of whack 🤔

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I'm not usually a bragger/sore winner (a synonym I found is 'cockalorum'- my new word of the day), but scrolling through posts rubbing the Jays' win in Yankees fans' faces is feeling pretty good! Go Jays!

[FOX Sports: MLB @MLBONFOX]

Vladdy Jr. just did "DAAAAAA YANKEES LOSE!" 🤣

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I need to get a better security system- I’m doing another round of laundry and it just doesn’t stop this week. The only reasonable conclusion is that someone is breaking into the house and leaving their dirty laundry in the hamper 🤷‍♂️