Balba

sometimes i do stuff

[Demon Realms @Demon_Realms]

I once dated an Argentinian girl and she was like "I'm gonna make you traditional Argentinian food 🥰" and it was steak and mashed potatoes. It was good and I was grateful but I was like babe I've had this before

[tara shoe @tarashoe]

why don't you just googoo it. wook it up on googoo.

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Me: Hey, can you print this black and white document?

Printer: I am offline.

Me: No, you are not. Can you please just print this black and white document?

Printer: With my MAGENTA low??? Bro, you sound insane right now.

[Siegvarg @Kranzschwinger]

Am wenigsten integrierter Syrer in Bayern

[Boots, 'with the fur' @afraidofwasps]

fish probably love being made into a soup... "brings me back" type shit

[matt @mattybtweets69]

I hope this wicked email finds you inna dub style

Come selecta,
Matt

[mr_eggs @scrumble_eggs]

This robot is coming for your job (being drunk in a public park at 2 in the afternoon)

[florence 🦐🏳️‍🌈 @morallawwithin]

Eternally vindicated

[haycab @haylgnar]

I am dating intentionally

[keith number 200 @killugonbiglove]

DO YOU MIND.

[Zach | Last Place Comics @lastplacecomics]

🧬Cells at overwork🧬

[Sydney Battle @SydneyBattle]

when an ex reaches out

[Aelfred The Great @aelfred_D]

𓅓𓂋 𓊪𓂋𓅂𓋴𓇋𓂧𓅂𓈖𓏏…

[tendollar @tendollardanny]

in these scary and uncertain times it’s important to focus on what you can control: nothing

[Adam @_dams0n]

Taking a break from Trader Joe’s. Cashier asked if I wanted a bag or if I’d be using “nature’s carriers” while doing jazz hands

[Ali @haramcart]

Hiding replies feels so good I understand how Stalin got carried away

[Conner O'Malley @conner_omalley]

Irish Zionism

[Fanbact✰™ @ywnbact]

Omg Pride and Prejudice.

[Ghostface Kryllah @kryzazzy]

Everyone talks about having an inner child but I have an inner raccoon who tells me to embrace the dark circles under my eyes, sleep all day and eat delicious trash