ASHISH CHAUHAN

Proud Hindu..

[Ajeet Bharti @ajeetbharti]

बेटा चीटिंग करते पकड़ा गया, शिक्षक ने समझाया कि मत करो, सस्पें�� हो सकते हो। लज्जा से आत्महत्या कर ली। बाप की चिंता यह है कि मोदी एक्ट लगवा कर तुरंत कंपनसेशन मिल जाए।

मोदी जी की सबसे सफल स्टार्ट-अप योजना मोदी एक्ट ही है। किसी को बेटी ब्याहनी है, दो सवर्णों पर मोदी एक्ट लगवाओ, फिर उन्हें कहो कि २ लाख दो तो वो पीछे ले लेंगे केस, सरकार भी पैसा देगी। कोई किडनी की पथरी का इलाज करवा रहा है।

ऐसे में मोदी जी कैसे हटा देंगे यार! IIT के प्रोफेसर का क्या है, कोई और आ जाएगा।

[ASHISH CHAUHAN @ASHISHC47134480]

@TheAlpha10X Excellent work bro 👏

[ASHISH CHAUHAN @ASHISHC47134480]

@vayunandini 😂🤣

[Shivam Roy @shivamroy__]

Btw this scene from the Congress era was seen just 6 months ago

[खुरपेंच @khurpenchh]

>ब्रो का नाम ज्योतिरादित्य सिंधिया है
>ब्रो गुना मध्य प्रदेश से सांसद है
>ब्रो पहले कॉंग्रेस में था
>रबड़ी इमरती न मिलने पर ब्रो भाजपा में आ गया
>ब्रो ने कुछ दिनों पहले बिट्टू तबाही को शाबाशी दी और कहा हर नौजवान को ये करना चाहिए
>मतलब हर नौजवान टैक्स दे और सफाई करे ज्योतिरादित्य और उनका बेटा टैक्स की मलाई खाए
>आज एक व्यक्ति ने सड़क न बनने की शिका��त की और भविष्य में वोट न देने को कहा
>तो मंत्री जी खिसिया गए और तुरंत उसको हड़काने लगे
> @JM_Scindia शायद भूल चुके हैं कि 80 साल पहले राजशाही खत्म हो चुकी है
>अब असली मालिक जनता है
> इसलिए चुपचाप अपने मालिक की कही हुई बात मानो ज्यादा दिस दैट मत करो

[Ajeet Bharti @ajeetbharti]

मुझे पीएम के जन्मदिवस से समस्या नहीं है। मेरी समस्या तरीके से है। जो व्यक्ति सत्ता में आते ही दिखास और छपास पर नेताओं को समझाया करता था, आज उसकी चाटुकारिता में हर भाजपा सरकार, हर विभाग/मंत्रालय ओवर द टॉप उत्सवधर्मिता में डूबने को व्याकुल है। क्या यह दोगलापन नहीं है?

मोदी का जन्मदिवस उनके जीते-जी सरकारी खर्चे पर कैसे मनाया जा सकता ह��? उज्जैन के 58 लाख दीपों का व्यय भाजपा वहन करेगी या मध्यप्रदेश सरकार? दिल्ली के सवा लाख दीपकों का व्यय रेखा गुप्ता के व्यक्तिगत लॉकर से जाएगा या दिल्ली सरकार के फंड से?

मोदी का जन्मोत्सव एक व्यक्तिगत विषय है और उसका उत्सव पार्टी मना सकती है, सरकार नहीं। सरकार तब मनाएगी, जब वो सेवानिवृत्त हो चुके होंगे और जनता को लगेगा कि कुछ कर के गए हैं। संभवतः, राष्ट्रीय अवकाश हो जाए उस दिन, ‘सेवा दिवस’ मने और ड्राय डे रहे।

उनकी छवि नोटों पर आ जाए और… जो भी है, आप समझ गए होंगे। जीवित रहते ऐसा करना बिलकुल वही कार्य है जैसे गाँव में कुछ बुजुर्ग अपने जीवनकाल में ही मृत्युभोज करवा लेते हैं। उन्हें विश्वास रहता है कि उनके मरने पर नकारे लोग जमीन हथिया लेंगे, और भरगामा की जगह भैयारी भोज कर देंगे।

भाजपा मुख्यालय को दीपों से नहला दीजिए। हर भाजपा कार्यकर्ता कलशयात्रा निका��े। हर राज्य मुख्यालय में चायनीज झालड़ बँधे। महीने भर आयोजन हो। भोज और उत्सव हो। लोग उपवास और रोजे रखें। किसी को कोई समस्या नहीं होगी। पर स्कूलों में बच्चों को बुला कर दीये जलवाना, चित्रकारी, भाषण आदि, वह भी एक महीने तक!

बिहार में बाढ़ है और हमारे म��ान मुख्यमंत्री दीये जलवा रहे हैं! कर्ज में डूबे राज्य दीपकों का गिनीज रिकॉर्ड्स बनवा रहे हैं! और इन सबके मध्य मोदी जी की आत्मा धिक्कारती नहीं कि हे महामानव, ये तू क्यों करवा रहा है? रोक क्यों नहीं रहा अपने नाम पर हो रहे इस बकवास को?

सरकारी खर्च पर यह भौंडापन अस्वीकार्य है। मोदी ने देश के लिए बहुत कुछ किया है, क्योंकि वही कार्य होता है प्रधानमंत्री का। हमने अच्छी बातों की सराहना की है, और बुरी की आलोचना करते रहेंगे।

यह आत्ममुग्धता असुरक्षा की भावना और विश्वास की कमी के कारण बढ़ती जा रही है। आपका कार्य ही आपकी डिग्री, पहचान और पीआर होना चाहिए। इसके लिए कुछ भी अतिरिक्त करना, स्वयं के अच्छे कार्यों में कॉन्फ़िडेंस खोने जैसा है।

ब्रांड मोदी को मोदी के इनर सर्कल के मूर्खों ने जितना डाल्यूट किया है, वह एक केस स��टडी बनेगा।

खैर जो भी हो, आप शतायु हों। आप सत्ता में होने के कीर्तिमान बनाएँ। विहग, बंदी और चारण, आपका कीर्ति गायन करें। आपको भारत रत्न दिया जाए। आपके सम्मान में लोग स्वतः दीपक प्रज्वलित करें, आपको टैक्सपेयर के पैसों पर अम्बानी के स्तर का पीआर न करना पड़े, यही मेरी कामना है।

[Ashneer Grover @Ashneer_Grover]

Bhai Chandra sahab ke ₹22,000 crores maaf nahi karte to India mein UPI agle 20 saal tak free chal jaata by government’s number of ₹8,000 crores subsidy.

Also NPCI - which runs UPI has ₹6,119 hard cash on its balance sheet and pre tax operating profit of ₹1,900 crores. NPCI apne cash pe and profits par zindagi bhar UPI free chala sakti hai. Government ka kuchh lena dena hi nahi hai. Government earned ₹1,000 crores tax from NPCI last year.

[Anand Ranganathan @ARanganathan72]

Dear @Javedakhtarjadu. I'm afraid your response is as boring and overloaded as your similes and metaphors. When countered with facts, you shift the goalpost, bring in the RSS, berate the right wing, take refuge in context, cushion the bigotry, and claim Kafirs were Colonialists not Hindus.

I know countering you again is like watering a cactus and praying for leechis, but in the hope that all that knee massaging with Doctor Ortho would have sprouted some neurons, here goes:

You asked for a source because you said the quote was “quite unlike” Azad’s “lifelong sociopolitical stances.” I gave you the source: Calcutta, 27 October 1914, published in Khutbat-e-Azad. The words are his. That should have ended the enquiry. It did not. So let us walk through your new script, line by line.

1. “The khutbats were about Khilafat and British colonialism.”

Yes. That is what I wrote. Maulana Azad was telling Indian Muslims that a Turk’s battlefield thorn must be felt in a Hindustani Muslim’s heart; that Millat-e-Islam is one body; that friendship and enmity are for the religion of Allah. Then he quoted Quran 48:29 and added his own gloss: be extremely hard against disbelievers, extremely kind among yourselves, and do not pass over this as if you had not heard it. You asked for the when and where. You received both. “It was about Khilafat” is not a rebuttal. It is the context in which he said it.

2. “To claim he was quoting this about the Hindus of India will not be true. The Kafir here was the colonialist.”

I did not say the 1914 speech was a municipal circular against the Hindus of Howrah. I quoted what Azad quoted: a Quranic verse about kuffar, and his commentary on unbelief, Tawhid, and hardness toward disbelievers. If Azad had meant “kafir = only the British officer,” he knew Urdu enough to say Angrez. He did not. He used the Book’s word, then told his flock not to skip it.

And if “kafir” in Azad’s mouth was a temporary colonial nickname, kindly explain the 1920 Hijrat fatwa, published in Ahl-e-Hadith of Amritsar, in which he said Indian Muslims had no choice but to migrate, and that those who stayed and kept connection with “the enemy of Islam” would themselves be counted as the enemy of Islam. That is not a lecture on income-tax collectors. That is a theology of the land.

3. “When Ataturk took over, Azad called it a closed chapter and condoned the secular government.”

Men change. Texts do not. If later Azad made peace with the death of the Caliphate, good for the later Azad. It does not unsay 1914, nor the Khilafat years, nor Masala-e-Khilafat, nor the call that any government hostile to Turkey was hostile to Islam, not the belief in the Quranic verse damning the Kafirs. You began by saying the paragraph was unlike his lifelong stances. Lifelong includes the years he spent as a pan-Islamist firebrand. Evolution is not an eraser. It is a timeline.

4. “Read his Calcutta High Court statement. An honour no member of the Mahasabha or RSS was ever given.”

Sedition charges from the Raj are not a unique family heirloom. Tilak got them. Aurobindo got them. Savarkar was given two life terms and sent to Cellular Jail, where the honour included the oil mill, the lash, and years in a cell the size of a cupboard.

And of course, knowing your pitiful knowledge of Indian History, I guess you would not know legendary RSS names like Devipad Chaudhary, Jagatpati Kumar, Anna Saheb Deshpande, Ramakant Keshav, Vasantrao Oak, Narayan Singh, Chandrakant Bhardwaj, Dada Naik Chimur, Baburao Begade, Lala Hansraj, Balaji Raipurkar who participated in our freedom struggle and were jailed or shot.

5. “Azad was in British jails for nine years. Name one from your right wing who can match that.”

Vinayak Damodar Savarkar: roughly a decade in Kala Pani, further years in mainland jails, then thirteen years of internment in Ratnagiri. Sentence on paper: fifty years. Conditions: not Ahmednagar Fort with time to write Ghubar-e-Khatir.

By the way, you might know that your great-great-grandfather Fazl-e-Haq Khairabadi was also incarcerated at Kala Pani. What you might not know, or would want to hide, is that he wrote a grovelling mercy petition to the British, pleading to be released.

6. “In 1946 Jinnah refused to shake Azad’s hand. He hated Azad for his patriotism.”

How does this turn “be severe against the kafirs, merciful among themselves” into a sonnet about communal harmony? A man can spend 1946 refusing Partition and still have spent 1914 telling Indian Muslims that their first body is the ummah. Fairness is holding both pages open. What you are doing is hiding the 1914 page and waving the 1946 one like a flag.

7. “Your reference to Rahul Gandhi was unnecessary, I expect decency and class.”

And I expected you to have some sense of humour. The PS was a reminder that this is the second time I have had to fetch your hero’s paperwork. Last time it was Nehru’s India: books banned, editors sacked, films blocked, Majrooh jailed for a couplet.

You lecture me on class after moving from “this cannot be Azad” to “it is Azad but you must read kafir as colonialist” to “anyway he went to jail” to “Jinnah was rude to him” to “please don’t mention Rahul.” That is not class. That is a guided tour of every exit except the text.

Look, Javed sahab, let us end this here. I like you. Doubtless a lot of your work is incredible, truly it is. So in that spirit, permit me to pen an ode to you:

Javed Akhtar ko dekha toh aisa laga, jaise chhal ka nawab, jaise jhoot ki kitaab, jaise dhong ki kiran, jaise adambar ka van, jaise kapton ki baat, jaise pakhand ki raat, jaise janpath mein ho ek jalta diya.

Alvida, Shabba khair. WDTP

[ASHISH CHAUHAN @ASHISHC47134480]

@surti_locho 😂🤣

[ASHISH CHAUHAN @ASHISHC47134480]

@abhiandniyu Sarkar gaand mar ne ke liye hai kya bhai madarchodo ne mughalo jese dale hai bc..

[Anand Ranganathan @ARanganathan72]

Dear Mr Javed Akhtar. Alhamdulillah. The quote is from Maulana Azad's Calcutta Speech. The speech was published in Khutbat-e-Azad. Here is the link: https://t.co/yXkvYTTW1j

The Maulana is exhorting the Indian Muslims to unite with Muslims around the world and save the Caliphate. He begins by stating that all relationships in the world can break down, father can turn against son, brother against brother, mother can shun her child but the relationship of a Muslim with a Muslim can never be severed.

The Maulana then continues: if even a grain of the soul of Islam is still alive in its followers, then if a thorn enters the foot of a Turk on the field of battle, I swear by Allah that no Muslim of Hindustan is a Muslim until he feels that prick in his own heart. For the Millat of Islam is one body, and Muslims, wherever they are, are its limbs. If a finger of the hand is cut, the rest of the body cannot remain at peace until it has felt the blow. This is not rhetoric. It is the plain meaning of the well-known hadith which Imam Ahmad related: the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him, said that the likeness of the believers in their mutual love, mercy and compassion is that of one body: when one limb complains, the whole body responds with sleeplessness and fever. And there is the other hadith, related by Abu Musa al-Ash‘ari: The believer to the believer is like a building; each part supports the other. This is the first and last distinguishing mark of the people of Islam, to which the Qur’an itself has pointed.

Then, to reinforce Muslim unity, Maulana Azad provides his commentary after quoting the Quranic verse 48: 29.

The Messenger of Allah and those with him are severe against the Kafirs, merciful among themselves.

Whatever hardness they have is for falsehood and unbelief; whatever love and tenderness they have is for truth, sincerity, Islam and Tawhid. So be extremely hard against disbelievers but extremely sympathetic and kind among ourselves; take heed, then, and do not pass over this as if you had not heard it.

P.S. This is the second time I am enlightening you on your heroes and their lifelong sociopolitical stances. The first time was when you refused to believe that books were banned, editors sacked, films blocked, and Majrooh jailed, under Nehru's rule. Please don't ask me about Gandhi next - the Mahatma, not Rahul, though both are probably your heroes. Cheers, WDTP

[ASHISH CHAUHAN @ASHISHC47134480]

#UninstallUPIapps

[Ashneer Grover @Ashneer_Grover]

India mein koi 5 minutes number Google kar le to doodh ka doodh paani ka paani ho jaye.

RBI surplus to Govt : ₹2.87 Lakh Crores (US$30 Bn)
Total listed bank profits : ₹4.11 Lakh Crores (US$42 Bn)
NPCI - which runs UPI pre tax ‘surplus’ : ₹ 1,888 crores (US$200 Mn)

To nuksaan kis ka ho raha hai UPI se aur kaunsi subsidy de rahi hai Govt UPI pe jo chubh rahi hai?

Cost of running ATMs and cash logistics in India is ₹30,500 crores (US$ 3.0 Bn). If you want to optimise shut ATMs and promote UPI instead.

Any levy on UPI is just tax collection. UPI is the one scientific achievement of India everyone acknowledges par ab tax ki bali chadhegi.

[ghatak @Neetivaan]

I won’t pay even a single extra rupee in UPI charges, even for transactions above ₹2,000.

If the government can afford freebies, why not UPI charges? I’ll start using cash, and everyone should too.

Freebies and subsidies combined budget is around $100 billion.

[Randomsena @Randomsenaog]

माननीय @DCPYNagarPrj

24 घंटे से ज्यादा बीत गए हैं। कृपया बताने का कष्ट करें कि आतिफ, जिसने मा सीता और प्रभु श्रीराम पर आपत्तिजनक टिप्पणी की थी, वो गिरफ्तार हुआ या नहीं??

[Shiv Aroor @ShivAroor]

Where is the useless coward Kalyan Bainsla hiding?

9PM, @NDTV

[Hindutva Don @HindutvaDon_]

Vande Matram is religious

but Garba is secular saar

vahh re mdrchd 🤡

[ASHISH CHAUHAN @ASHISHC47134480]

#EkTarfaact

[Preet Sirohi @BhaiPreetSingh]

फफक फफक कर रोने लगते है इतना भी चार बार में सुनाई देता है फ़ोन पर कि

पूरे परिवार पर SC/ST Act लगा दिया - जो घर में था ही नहीं, उस पर भी।

मैं लगातार ऐसे फ़ोन सुन रहा हूँ #EkTarfaact