THANOS

FOLLOW THANOS AND HE WILL ANSWER YOUR PUNY QUESTIONS ABOUT THE UNIVERSE, FOR SOON IT SHALL BELONG TO THANOS.

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

@rynostwats PERHAPS, MINION, IF YOU SHALL AGREE TO HAVE IT LAUNDERED.

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

THIS "BIG BANG THEORY" IS AMUSING. DR. COOPER WOULD MAKE A FINE ALLY. ALSO, THIS WALOWITZ WOULD MAKE A FINE SNACK.

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

@ThanosofTitanDC THIS IS TRUE.

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

SOMETHING TELLS ME "GLEE" IS SOMETHING OF A MISNOMER.

[Tim Siedell @badbanana]

If I were president, I'd send SEAL Team Six in to rescue Siri from Zooey Deschanel.

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

THANOS HAS LOST THE URGE TO SEE A MOVIE. PERHAPS KANG IS INTERESTED IN WATCHING THE HOCKEY GAME OR SOMETHING. SIGH.

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

I SUPPOSE I COULD RENT 500 DAYS OF SUMMER. AGAIN. ALAS, THE QUIRKINESS OF ZOOEY IS WEARING THIN. NOT MUCH OF A NIGHT OFF SO FAR.

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

@Peposed THANOS AGREES.

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

FIRST DINNER, NOW RED BOX HAS NO BLURAY COPIES OF ONE FOR THE MONEY. THIS HAS TURNED INTO THANOS OF TITAN'S WORST TRIP TO WAL-MART, EVER.

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

BAKED LAYS? WHAT DEVILRY IS THIS? WHO DECIDED TO MAKE LAYS CHIPS THAT SUCK?

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

FINE. THANOS SHALL HAVE THE BLACK FOREST HAM WITH BANANA PEPPERS. DAMN YOU. AND A COOKIE.

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

I WILL EVEN FETCH THE LAMB MYSELF. I COULD BE IN WALES TO FETCH ONE BEFORE YOU ROLL YOUR WHORE-COLORED EYES AT ME AGAIN.

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

A MYRIAD OF INTELLIGENT LIFEFORMS ACROSS THE VAST, COLD FIRMAMENT OF SPACE AND TIME. YET YOU ARE THE IDIOT PUTTING MY DINNER TOGETHER.

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

TINY HUMAN, THANOS TIRES OF HEARING YOUR REASONS WHY AN ENTIRE LAMB CANNOT BE CRAFTED INTO A FIVE DOLLAR FOOTLONG.

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

THE BEST THING ABOUT RETURNING TO YOUR EARTH? DORITOS TACOS AT TACO BELL. THE WORST? AFTERWARDS, TAKING A DUMP THE SIZE OF WEDDING CAKE.

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

@TrentR I'VE SEEN SCRIPTS. JUST YOU WAIT, MINION. :)

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

WILL SMITH TRENDING WORLDWIDE ON TWITTER. WHO DOES THANOS HAVE TO SLAP ACROSS THE FACE TO GET SOME GODDAMNED FOLLOWERS?

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

BABY, BABY, FALLIN IN LOVE. I'M FALLIN IN LOVE AGAIN. WOW. THIS RADIO STATION IS ALL OVER THE ROAD. LIKE A TEENAGER STRUNG OUT ON PBR.

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

THIS MILKSHAKE IS CHOCOLATE CONCRETE. I CAN HANDLE IT, BUT I AM UNCERTAIN HOW YOU HUMANS ARE CAPABLE OF SUCKING IT THROUGH A STRAW.

[THANOS @ASKTHANOS]

THAT'S THE NIGHT THAT THE LIGHTS WENT OUT IN GEORGIA. THAT'S THE NIGHT THAT THEY HUNG AN INNOCENT MAN.