Mikaela

We play with fire cause we like the way it burns. 1/2 of #Baela #DiamondGirl

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

|| It's so cute when my puppy lays her nose on my stomach. It's like she knows there's a tiny human in there.

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

@AmnesiaParacosm Hot damn!!

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

@AmnesiaParacosm quiet somewhat shaky voice

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

@AmnesiaParacosm I look at Ben and nod my head slowly, letting him know I was hearing what he was saying. He's right it's so close to all being over and us finally having our baby girl to hold. After letting out a sigh, I nod my head once again "okay.. let's do it" I finally say in a --

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

|| Waiting to hear back from the doctor is probably the most unsettling feeling ever.

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

@AmnesiaParacosm I'm not ready. I.. I can't.

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

@AmnesiaParacosm Birth things because apparently the warm water acted as a natural pain reliever but that was hard to believe right now. I shake my head, looking up at Ben with tears in my eyes from being scared and in pain} This is happening way too fast. --

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

@AmnesiaParacosm It sounded a hell of a lot better than having this baby with no pain meds. Why on earth did I originally think that was a good idea? I was so naive thinking I could do this completely natural. At one point I think I even considered having a midwife and doing one of those tub --

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

@AmnesiaParacosm What, you mean no drugs!? No no she can wait. It'll be fine. We can hold off and I'll just close my legs and keep her in. {I was in full on panic mode and talking a mile a minute. Of course somewhere deep down I knew that wasn't possible but --

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

@AmnesiaParacosm she's okay." I say, though I'm not sure if I was speaking to the doctor or saying a silent prayer aloud but I just needed to know our daughter was okay. I look from Ben to the doctor while chewing on my lower lip.

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

@AmnesiaParacosm My instant reaction is to look at Ben. I wasn't sure what to expect, if it would hurt or not but I didn't have a choice but to find out. I squeeze my eyes shut as I keep a tight grip of his hand, bracing myself for what's to come. "Please give us good news. Please tell us --

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

@AmnesiaParacosm "Okay. Good. That's good." I say, trying to keep as calm as I could at this time. It was then that the doctor finally walked in the room and started checking all the monitors I was hooked up to. He then says he's going to check to see how dilated I am. --

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

@AmnesiaParacosm here? I know we left in a hurry."

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

@AmnesiaParacosm too late? That would mean no pain meds or anything. I didn't know if I was ready for that. I breathe out slowly once the contraction finally eases up but I'm left with a pout on my lips because this was a lot more tiring than I expected "Do our parents know we're --

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

@AmnesiaParacosm "Is it too late for that big needle thing?" I ask, not able to think of the name at the moment for an epidural. There were lots of thoughts going through my mind. What if I wasn't dilated enough and we still had hours left of waiting? Or worse.. what if it really was --

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

@AmnesiaParacosm Right now I was truly scared out of my mind.

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

@AmnesiaParacosm "They better hurry, she seems to be impatient to get out" I whine while trying to keep my breathing steady though it was extremely difficult at the moment. Every contraction was getting worse and lasting longer. I could have never imagined it would be like this and --

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

@AmnesiaParacosm The pain was getting unbearable I was ready for it to be over. At this point I was exhausted and in pain and hungry "Ben.. I don't know if I can do this" I look over at him while giving his hand a good squeeze as my breathing hitches --

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

It's Christmas time

[Mikaela @ASinfulTeen]

@AmnesiaParacosm just that one time so I wasn't very good at it}