Alyssa White-Morgan

Probably not that interesting.

[Jack Posobiec @JackPosobiec]

This isn't a railway in a Third World County

This is in Ohio

[Alyssa White-Morgan @AWhitey23]

Men will literally call you out for "having to get your $5 dollar coffee" in the morning as if they didn't stop and get a $4.99 energy drink. All hail the one cent saver king.

[Alyssa White-Morgan @AWhitey23]

@netflix gave us the most precious gift of all during this time, something even better than the federal stimulus package - Tiger King 🐯

[Alyssa White-Morgan @AWhitey23]

You know it's tax return season when your newsfeed is full of people showing off new tattoos and cars #SorryNotSorry #taxseason

[Nikki Haley @NikkiHaley]

.@AOC & the Dems who chose to boycott the SOTU. When you represent people, your job is not to just do the things you like. It is to rep ALL people. Listening to the issues by the Pres is your job. Maybe someone else should step in who is willing to do the job that you aren’t. 🇺🇸

[Alyssa White-Morgan @AWhitey23]

If my house were a prison yard, then cheerios would be the currency, and instead of being shanked, my kid just follows me with a plastic trumpet.

[Alyssa White-Morgan @AWhitey23]

Does anyone else remember "Big Wolf on Campus"?
No? Just me then? Cool.

[Alyssa White-Morgan @AWhitey23]

Scrolling the comments on a random FB post, and one guy commented: Billie Eilish is to music what Helen Keller is to competitive dodgeball.
And that's my new favorite analogy.

[Alyssa White-Morgan @AWhitey23]

In case you're wondering how to help hurricane victims, but you're short on cash, donating blood is free. @RedCross #HurricaneDorian

[Alyssa White-Morgan @AWhitey23]

@Brubie22 As you should! 😂 Also it gets to a point that instead of inviting you somewhere they'll start off with "could you get a babysitter" because they're subtly trying to say they don't want your kid(s) coming. Eventually, you'll be down to like 2 friends because they also have kids.

[Alyssa White-Morgan @AWhitey23]

I can't stand when people are like, "you have Rhett ALL THE TIME." Well, yeah - I AM HIS MOTHER. 😑💁‍♀️🤦‍♀️😒

[Alyssa White-Morgan @AWhitey23]

@Brubie22 Yes 🤦‍♀️ you would be surprised. I think people are getting too used to parents not being together, because they only get their kid every other weekend. I also get "Can't you just have your mom watch him?" Well he's my baby not hers, so probably not lol

[Alyssa White-Morgan @AWhitey23]

@Lewhite95 Yes but that's different lol

[DJ Pauly D @DJPaulyD]

Everyone Comes With Baggage. Find Someone Who Loves You Enough To Help You UnPack. #PaulyDPositivity

[Alyssa White-Morgan @AWhitey23]

When I hear @lizzo "Good As Hell", I picture Elle Woods talking Paulette into getting her dog back. "Hair toss & check my nails" is the new "bend & snap" 👌💯💅

[Alyssa White-Morgan @AWhitey23]

@HMoneyEngland I wish they would just say "veggie (or soy) patty" instead of "vegan chicken sandwich" 🤦‍♀️

[Alyssa White-Morgan @AWhitey23]

Just remember, not even the Kardashians actually look like the Kardashians.

[Alyssa White-Morgan @AWhitey23]

You know how you really wanna like something that everyone else loves but just can't? That's how I feel about Red Hot Chili Peppers. #SorryNotSorry