ÇHRiS Å.

🅰️🅱️🅱️🅰️

[ÇHRiS Å. @A_Bizzy_24]

Life hack: if you need to get rid of bags of trash just leave them on the side of the highway and convicts pick them up for you

[ÇHRiS Å. @A_Bizzy_24]

2 passion 2 Christ

[ScreenGeek @RealScreenGeek]

‘The Passion Of The Christ’ Sequel Reportedly Begins Filming This Spring: https://t.co/0jCkZ0wypS

[ÇHRiS Å. @A_Bizzy_24]

"Baby on board" bumper stickers should come with a light-up function like Lyft and Uber signs

[ÇHRiS Å. @A_Bizzy_24]

Thanks @YouTube for playing loud ads before such videos as "lullaby for infant" and "white noise for children"

[ÇHRiS Å. @A_Bizzy_24]

Qatar: where soccer fans aren't allowed to drink but can bring musical instruments into the game

[ÇHRiS Å. @A_Bizzy_24]

Have kids so even when you don't drink you still wake up feeling hungover

[Snorklhuahua @weinerdog4life]

I say potato you say potato, another guy says potato, everyone starts chanting potato, the potato meeting was a huge success

[Cohen is a ghost @skullmandible]

most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns

[David Hughes @david8hughes]

Judas: still on for Friday?
Jesus: Friday?
Judas: yeah, the last supper
Jesus: the what?
Judas: supper. Normal supper with the fellas

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

date: [pulls away from kissing] let's move this to your bed
me: [sitting on a futon] you're not gonna believe this

[Seinfeld Current Day @Seinfeld2000]

looking for a simple last minute haloween costume idea? why not go as the TV show F·R·I·E·N·D·S

[ÇHRiS Å. @A_Bizzy_24]

Kids take tubs and adults take baths. Those are the rules

[ÇHRiS Å. @A_Bizzy_24]

Missed opportunity @ScottHanson you should call it the Scarlet Witching Hour #NFLRedZone

[ÇHRiS Å. @A_Bizzy_24]

Alternate headline: Aaron Rodgers ruins Con Air for everyone

[NFL on ESPN @ESPNNFL]

The reigning MVP showed up as Nick Cage in Con Air 😭 @AaronRodgers12

(📸 @packers)

[ÇHRiS Å. @A_Bizzy_24]

Shoutout to all the idiots wearing masks in cars by themselves

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

*Me passing a note to the waitress*

Hi, I’m going to order Diablo Fire wings but could you please just bring me mild? Also when you bring the mild wings could you please say “whoa, who ordered the Diablo wings?”

[ÇHRiS Å. @A_Bizzy_24]

It's happening: new Kanye West is finally ruining old Kanye West for me

[GoaT FacE @EndhooS]

"Are you doing your homework in there?"

"Oh shit *hides textbooks* Erm no dad, I'm doing porns with my penis"

"You fucking better be nerd"

[chuuch @ch000ch]

hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it's over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it