Aaron Becker

A tweet must be the axe for the frozen sea within us.

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

RIP Virginia Woolf. You would have loved Sour Patch Kids.

[rob dubbin @robdubbin]

MY MAN: (comes home)
ME: (nervous) how was the store
MY MAN: fine
ME: oh thank g —
MY MAN: ran into jolene
ME: oh no
MY MAN: she mentioned you left kind of an intense voicemail

[Alexis Gay @yayalexisgay]

companies trying to get people back in the office

[uǝʌǝʇs @emoswaggy]

oh nevermind

[Hana Lee (not here) - see hanalee.bsky.social @K_Hana_Lee]

all the twitter replacement apps are duking it out for the throne succession-style and I am an unwilling peasant whose crops are burning in the meantime. release me dear god. let me harvest my vegetables and sell them at the local market. I care not who wears the crown.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Critics Say Submersible Should’ve Been Tested With Poorer Passengers First https://t.co/9R0nIy0MpM

[McSweeney's @mcsweeneys]

"I've spoken to Mr. Blofeld no more than a handful of times, all of which (except for small talk during a helicopter ride to his private volcano) consisted of brief comments at events attended by large groups seated around a table shaped like an octopus."
https://t.co/LhxOwi0w3q

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

martin shkreli’s new AI doctor app is really good

[Paul Schofield @pschofie79]

The SAT gives a huge advantage to the already privileged. If we want equity, we need to drop it altogether. What will we use instead? Well, you could start by asking applicants whether they know a congressman/senator willing to write them a rec. Or a scientist they interned for?

[lil stinker @superlameballs]

me: robot butler, my hands ache. please tweet the following for me: robopussy got me acting zeros and ones

my robot butler: [simultaneously quote tweeting my tweet on his private account with "she mocks our culture"] very good, ma'am

[Roman Semenov 🌪️ @semenov_roman_]

The new jailbreak is so fun

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

wow. it’s like history is jumping out of the page

[Idle Words @idlewords]

Here's the first installment of my case against landing human beings on Mars. You may think you disagree, but I'm going to talk you around. https://t.co/YSAl5mHGR5

[Ben Rosen @ben_rosen]

other people’s resolutions:
- lol
- yeah right
- good luck with that

my resolutions:
- i am going to change my entire personality
- and all my behavior
- also it will be easy

[ivan : ) @JoannaNewSum41]

ace ventura’s behavior was not “alrighty then” and it’s not alrighty now

[Aaron Becker @AaronBecker]

@ianferrel Quit turning in the widening gyre and get up here!

[J̲a̲c̲k̲ ̲S̲a̲c̲h̲s̲ @Jack_Sachs]

🌞

🐢

[Alexandru Voica 💀 @alexvoica]

Since @elonmusk asked Twitter employees to be "extremely hardcore" or leave, a lot of people have asked me what it really means to be hardcore.

I've spent more than a decade in the hardcore scene surrounded by engineers, so here's a brief explainer.

[Molly White @molly0xFFF]

imagine deciding which engineers to keep around based on lines of code and choosing to keep the ones who wrote the MOST

[push the needle @pushtheneedle]

the space race vs the timeline for seattle to build a bike lane and bus lane. same scale.