Aaron Polkinghorn

As clever as I might think my tweets and stories are, only one story matters. It's a story of love, then rebellion, then grace. Ask me about it. I dare you.

[Juan Gonzalez @ThatWasEpic11]

Retweet this and follow me. When we hit 100k followers I’ll give $1,000 to 10 of you!

[Aaron Polkinghorn @AaronStevenP]

Forever confused by the term "sub-par". Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

🏌️‍♂️⛳

[Aaron Polkinghorn @AaronStevenP]

I know most of you aren't excited about the time change, but I'm stoked that my microwave's clock will finally be accurate again.

[National Park Service @NatlParkService]

If you come across a bear, never push a slower friend down…even if you feel the friendship has run its course.⁣⁣

[Aaron Polkinghorn @AaronStevenP]

@nypost I don't want to be THAT guy, but it seems to me that an organization such as the New York Post would have someone checking their titles for errors.

#Seahwaks

[Aaron Polkinghorn @AaronStevenP]

Ok somebody needs to explain to me REAL FAST why you can't buy shredded American cheese - only sliced.

[Aaron Polkinghorn @AaronStevenP]

Any Coyote fans/alum wanting to go to Wichita this weekend for the #SweetSixteen?

I have an extra ticket and wouldn't mind carpooling!

@SDCoyotesWBB
@SDCoyotes
#GoYotes
#USD

[SportsCenter @SportsCenter]

SOUTH DAKOTA WINS IT WITH A HAIL MARY 🤯

(via @SDCoyotesFB)

[Aaron Polkinghorn @AaronStevenP]

Just a friendly reminder that "Reese's" is not pronounced "Reesees".

Additionally, regardless of how you pronounce "Reese's", "Pieces" is not pronounced "Peesees".

This has been a public service announcement.

[Aaron Polkinghorn @AaronStevenP]

Ok, @pepsi and @CocaCola nice job with all the great tasting zero sugar drinks! Next step: get them into more restaurants!

#PepsiZeroSugar #CocaColaZeroSugar #SpriteZero

[Aaron Polkinghorn @AaronStevenP]

Original thought is vital for success.

Retweet if you agree.

[Aaron Polkinghorn @AaronStevenP]

I don't have a lot of strong opinions about pop culture, but let me say this: as someone who grew up watching Reading Rainbow, a Trekkie, and a Jeopardy geek, it will be a huge missed opportunity if LaVar Burton is not chosen as the new #Jeopardy host.

#JusticeForLaVar

[Aaron Polkinghorn @AaronStevenP]

@evan_lipe @FriendsTV Because Ross plays with dinosaurs for a living. Not that he's near the top of my list anyway...

#Pivot
#WeWereOnABreak

[Aaron Polkinghorn @AaronStevenP]

Who is your least favorite character on Friends and why is it Phoebe?

@FriendsTV
#smellycat
#ReginaPhalange

[Aaron Polkinghorn @AaronStevenP]

Anybody else peak during COVID? Just me?

[Aaron Polkinghorn @AaronStevenP]

@FriendsTV

Friends Season 4, Episode 18

Chandler: "There's never going to be a President Joey!"

Chandler, my man, that didn't age well.

[Aaron Polkinghorn @AaronStevenP]

@ChickfilA It's 2021. When can we expect an expansion of your spicy chicken?

#SpicyNugs #SpicyStrips

[Aaron Polkinghorn @AaronStevenP]

Why don't more restaurants have "Heaping Pile of Meat and Cheese" on their menus?

[Aaron Polkinghorn @AaronStevenP]

Come here, Scout. It's different this time. This time, we aren't fighting the Yankees, we're fighting our friends. But remember this, no matter how bitter things get, they're still our friends and this is still our home.

- Atticus Finch

[Aaron Polkinghorn @AaronStevenP]

Is anyone else disappointed that the founder of @jerseymikes is a guy named Peter?