Jessie Ray

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

“But can you make the skinny lady look like plus but not fat?”

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

And in like ten years it’s gonna be all Megan Fox and Britney Spears again, and everyone’s gonna be like “oh maybe we really fucked up with all that Olivia rodrigo shit.”

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

Apparently people are still going after Olivia rodrigo or something? This has me like big mad.

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

But then like all this copyright stuff that you need a degree in forensic technology or some shit to hear? For the love of hell, where’s all that energy for the white suburbanites stealing and making millions off of black choreographers on tiktok?

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

Like. First of all. Her songs aren’t stupid. You’ve never been a teenage girl fall too hard and get your heartbroken. GOOD 4 U. That’s a privilege, not some grand achievement. Teenage heartbreak is big feels.

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

@youtubemusic I want an alarm clock function that starts a specific playlist. It’s 2021 you should have that. #YouTubeMusic

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

If your dog doesn’t have recall - don’t take him to the fucking dog park.

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

@jimmyjohns hey when I order two cookies and pay for two cookies, I actually do want both cookies. Stop sending me only one cookie. Just a wee heads up. So we’re clear. #rude

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

Tbh, the best way to to be confident in yourself and begin loving your body is to stop fat shaming other people.

And stop eating salads every day at work. You’re not fooling ANYONE.

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

The fact that I have not received an “I Vaccinated” sticker is almost more disappointment than I can handle.
#vaccinated

[The Toledo Sunday Magazine @toledosunday]

Issue 1 submission deadline is April 1st. https://t.co/R0iefSeAG8

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

@TheSims old people can have satisfying sex too. Just so you know. Stop ruining the woohoo for elder sims.

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

Never “rest your eyes.” It’s a scam. You will fall asleep.

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

Catholic school kids: GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME / ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD
God: *ahem* I think you mean “well” - and to be honest, at the very best, I am c o p i n g

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

Dear bone in chicken wing eaters.

The sidewalk is not a good place to dispose of your leftovers.
If my dog suffers a perforated anything - I’m coming for you.

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

Check out Alliyah's video! #TikTok https://t.co/7mDGMszsUp

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

Does one just cook dinner when democracy collapses or...?
Trying to plan my night.

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

This is terrorism. This is a coup.

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

Candy by Mandy Moore fucking slams and that’s a hill I will live and die on.
#lovealways #mandy

[Jessie Ray @AberlJessie]

I thought I didn’t like pierogis and then I tried them and now I like them.
So what I’m saying is
Wear your fucking mask.