Abby Thomas

Everything in moderation, including moderation 🤘🏼

[John Mayer @JohnMayer]

When you're brushing your teeth and your toothbrush runs off the rails and up into your gums and rips half of your face apart.

[Abby Thomas @AbigailTee]

How do other girls look cute while eating while me and my chins can’t even eat almonds while making a mess?

[Ben @BenF0wler]

Was watching HGTV this morning while eating breakfast and then immediately turned the tv off because I was intensely unhappy with the house the couple chose for their fixer upper renovation project.

And then I realized I’m a suburban 40 year old mother.

[Abby Thomas @AbigailTee]

How is anyone’s mom not their best friend? No one can compare ❤️

[Abby Thomas @AbigailTee]

@Hellmanns

[Brittany Dawn @itsbrittanydawn]

was gonna go jogging but proverbs 28:1 says “only the wicked run when no one is chasing them” so there goes that.

[Abby Thomas @AbigailTee]

My life is falling apart but at least I’m tan

[Abby Thomas @AbigailTee]

What even is my life

[Abby Thomas @AbigailTee]

I have never been more proud of my country. https://t.co/9GUMcAhL0m

[Abby Thomas @AbigailTee]

@girlideas @allimaier30

[Abby Thomas @AbigailTee]

I just accidentally watered a plant with vodka...I’m not ready to be an adult.