Abraham Jay Simpson

Abe Simpson. I spent forty years as a night watchman at a cranberry silo. #TheSimpsons

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

What's happening?

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

In my day burping was used as money. Burping 12 times in a row got you a free breakfast https://t.co/4TbkxJDAJN

[Charles Monty Burns @Monty_Burns]

All fine, just that disgusting burping is bad. @PrankKingBart

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

I've been asleep since Valentine's Day!

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

I got dressed all by myself. I'm done for the day

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

Can't we cancel the Olympics this year? There's one thing I can't beat... competition.

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

Spittin' class would be so much easier if my teeth didn't fall out when I spit

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

Since when was it the 2000s??

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

Merry Christmas . we're all doomed

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

.@PrankKingBart hang some bacon on the end of it. You'll be surprised at the results

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

.@PrankKingBart I used to buy Homer Christmas gifts that he couldn't eat.... or at least I didn't expect him to eat..

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

That's good eatin

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

To hell with you I'll eat this emoji if I want 💊💊💊

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

actually my full name is Abraham Jay Simpson. Says so on my underwear

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

Death stalks you at every turn

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

.@YellowMischief I don't remember much but he had a hat like a German dipper. Feathers and everything

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

.@UncleMoesTavern Still kicking? I ain't no piñata donkey

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

I go in and out of comas all the--

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

.@YellowMischief I get a dollar each time I tweet... or that's what they told me...

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

@TheSimpsons what the hell is this ?

[Abraham Jay Simpson @AbrahamSimpson]

I'd better sleep on it