Sierra

No, I don't have anything better to do with my time so mind your business!

[Sierra @AbsentConsort]

One of my many, many issues stems from the fact I do NOT want to *make* enchiladas, but I DO want to *eat* enchiladas. #ImQuiteLazyReally #TheChickenNeedsToGetCooked #ItsReallyNotThatHard

[Sierra @AbsentConsort]

@lizzo saying "Bye, Bitch" and laughing gives me LIFE, but like... "Bye, Witch" would make the PERFECT song for Spooky Scary seasons coming up. #FeelinGoodAsHellAtTheHalloweenStoreRN

[Paperback Paradise @paprbckparadise]

$1

[sam✨ @sammy_whamm]

i am:

⚪️ gay

⚪️ straight

⚪️ bi

🔘 conFUSion! Why is this one Kansas, but this one not Ar-Kansas?? AMERICA EXPLAIN!!! EXPLAIN AMERICA WHAT DO YOU MEAN AR-KAN-SAW??

[Sierra @AbsentConsort]

Poppyseeds in my cream cheese 😥 ... Hate that! "Is it a stray poppyseed from my bagel or a spot of mold??"

[Sierra @AbsentConsort]

I like the "8am alarm was missed" on my phone its very non-accusational. Like, my phone and I both know I overslept by 45 minutes because I snoozed 9 alarms for over an hour. But my phone isn't gonna drag me for it. How polite.

[Cookie Monster @MeCookieMonster]

Dis year me focusing on me self-care. When me need little love, me going to give meself cookie.

[Sierra @AbsentConsort]

This is my favorite thing 😂😂😂 I'm happier as a size 14 than I was as a size 6. Just gotta live your life... And not poop your pants!

[dustin Couch @Dustinkcouch]

nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early

astronaut: moon's haunted

nasa employee: what?

astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon's haunted

[Sierra @AbsentConsort]

@nothisiscarlie Haha and for a few more days I get what I want lol 😅 fate spoiled me.

[Sierra @AbsentConsort]

I'm so sad I wanna melt into the carpet. Six almost seven months. 💔💔💔

[Sierra @AbsentConsort]

I literally feel like shit is so good right now I'm in some sort of weird Archer-Dreamland-Coma-Thing. Fun job I just got a raise at, amazing boyfriend, people think I'm funny, I look cute as hell in a new pair of jeans I bought because I lost some weight... Wtf??

[Sierra @AbsentConsort]

"I made you this way I can break you just as easily" PAY ARTISTS FOR THEIR ART 😬😡

[Sierra @AbsentConsort]

This is so poetic and yet I can't shake the feeling that this comment stems from bearing witness to one doozy of a popsicle-themed temper tantrum. 😂😂😂

[Lin-Manuel Miranda @Lin_Manuel]

Siri how many stained t-shirts and tearful breakdowns before a child understands that every popsicle is a race against time

[Sierra @AbsentConsort]

2018 has been a hell of a year. Jesus. Can I just have a little break, please?

[Sierra @AbsentConsort]

Friendly reminder:

[Sierra @AbsentConsort]

Why is it that every time I see Marouane Fellaini, my brain goes "Belgian Colin Kaepernick" like those are the only two people I've ever seen with that hairstyle?? They're not! 😳😕😶

[Sierra @AbsentConsort]

Aaaaand 10 mins later Belgium-France is back to being about as interesting as watching paint that just won't dry. Honestly I expected better from the guys who gave us French Fries and the actual French. #WorldCup #IDidntGetToWatchIWasAtWork #ButImAboutToTurnThisOff

[Sierra @AbsentConsort]

This post is my life 😂❤ same af. https://t.co/vVcls5eRks