Abigail Miller

Worried White Woman

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

I’m gonna live tweet my roommate until I don’t feel like it anymore. Unfollow if you’re not here for this content.

For an example of said content: This morning she jumped up from our quiet, balcony, coffee sesh and sang “duty calls!” then ran to the bathroom.

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

abigail! leave me alone i’m deciphering hieroglyphs!

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

*carrying dog* she lost walking privalages

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

a watched pumpkin never dries.

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

sorry you got locked in my bathroom.

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

thanks for stripping for us.

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

I need some drag queens to start a stocks/financial podcast. #DragRace #DowJones

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

I DON’T LIKE MANUAL LABOR. -em

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

it’s colder than a witches tit in a glass bra #dadquotes

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

i’ll tell ya one thing. this line really moves. #dadquotes

[Simon Chong @chongster62]

Mother’s Day was in March in the UK which means my Mum (who is still the best Mum any day of the year, obviously) has had her day, hah! So, this American Mother’s Day I’m gonna celebrate another excellent Mum. Come through, Linda Belcher!

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

My dad calls me weasel dick.

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

@triviaseeoul Make an account for that now!

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

It smells like fresh air and embarrassment.

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

I used to have cooties.

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

*yells into the abyss that is our room* why am I IN EMOTIONAL TURMOIL TODAY!?

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

Oh, I’m falling. Gravity is besting me.

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

Thank you random lady in front of me that paid for my Starbucks. I love you and wanted to put that in the universe.

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

I’m seriously considering being a ghost for Halloween.

[Abigail Miller @Absmarie_]

When some says “hey how ya doin?” And then you go “ I’m good how are you?” And they go “doing alright, thanks, how are you?” ... 🤡

... I kinda just wanna keep it going to see how it long they short out like that.