Just Achmed

I am the greatest man in the history of the world according to my dog and that’s all that really matters. Follow for fart jokes. Unfollow for the dick jokes.

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

@DBrumus @IAPolls2022 @SocalStrategies Ziobucks

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

Did you watch the Odyssey or the Yessydo?

I can only afford watching one or the other

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

@_iamblakeley I like it when they also throw in “Marxist/Jihadist”
Like all these words belong on a mood board swirling in their skulls 💀

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

@_iamblakeley She’s like a parody of herself… SNL has nowhere from here

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

@SuppressedNws1 @AbdulElSayed She was clearly the weird child that had to be sent to her room when guests came over

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

@GenXGirl1994 She was clearly the weird child that had to be sent to her room when guests came over

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

@ProudSocialist She was clearly the weird child that had to be sent to her room when guests came over

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

She was clearly the weird child that had to be sent to her room when guests came over

[Howard Mortman @HowardMortman]

"Those cool kids on the Internet doing the cool kid chatter. Some of 'em might be the coastal elites, making fun of how I talk. They're making fun of Michigan. They're thinking they're better than us. Their jokes, and their criticism, only make me fight harder."

-- Haley Stevens

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

@HowardMortman She was clearly the weird child that had to be sent to her room when guests came over

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

@_iamblakeley And sex may preserve virginity

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

@hasanthehun He wore the suit because all the cats kept calling him "Mao"

Put some respect on his wardrobe!!

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

When she asks “So, what are we?”

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

@Polymarket Trump's been edging to Zohran for a while now

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

@zimranjacob Trump's been edging to Zohran for a while now

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

@_iamblakeley @X Whenever anything fails on this app, I just remember the clown that overextended himself to buy the platform then it makes sense

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

@PoloniumTurd @ChakosSocial I think they named the place after the hit song by Toto… that dog changed my life!

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

All episodes of the Comedy Joke Off will be airing each Thursday, 9:00 pm pst on @urbansoultv1 (IG).Make sure to tune in to watch your favorite Southern California comic compete for their chance to win a cash prize and be the declared the winner of the first season.

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

@charlestone4lyf @DailyLoud Agreed! So much personality packed into a such tiny guy

[Just Achmed @AchmedComedy]

@NikkiHaley You genuinely thought God mean to write “Finish them” on a bomb that fell on children?
The psychosis is real!