this is what happens when u grow up in a religious household that weaponizes said religion. ur supposed to live a ‘clean’ life to represent god and they go to extremes to make that happen, even if it’s just for appearances. love becomes conditional unfortunately
when i first started therapy my therapist had me take this test to see where i was mentally. she told me ‘normal’ people have 30% ptsd and soldiers have 40% … she told me i ranked at 47%