Is there anything more frustrating than waiting behind not 1, but 2 people getting the heated sandwiches from Greggs? I want sant to get my chicken bake and leave!
OK hear me out.....
Step 1: Buy a pure black bath bomb
Step 2: Arrange to have yourself baptised. The fully submerged type.
Step 3: Hide said bath bomb in you shirt.
Step 4: Chaos
Oh boy! UK Friends, do I have news for you! Join me and @pennjillette for 8 brand new live shows in June 2021. Tickets on sale Friday Oct 6th, 10am.
https://t.co/70OYRQmQKM
MEN! Do you have too much confidence and self esteem? The boy have I got the app for you! Tinder! All it takes is a couple of right swipes from you and what feels like an eternity until you get a match, and you're self image will fall faster than a deer on a frozen pond.
Can someone please explain where the phrase "cover me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians" comes from? Its been in my head for years and it absolutely baffles me.
Fun Fact: In watch adverts, the hands will always be set at 10:10. Why? Because in that position, the hands form a V with the brand of the watch in the centre. #OnceYouKnowYouCantNotSeeIt
Wish just sent me a notification saying they're having a deal on "adult toys". 1: Do not buy your "adult toys" from wish. 2: Do not buy your "adult toys" from wish IF THEY'RE ON SALE!!!! #KnowYourSilicone
My local barbers: Free drinks, free wifi, relaxed atmosphere
Me: This place is great!
Barber: Its cash only
Me (internally): This place for money laundering!!
ITS THE ONLY EXPLINATION!
If I'm perfect honest, I'm loving Akira tozawa on #RAW for the simple fact that the phrase "The Ninjas" is being used with such nonchalance every 10 seconds hes on screen. #WWERaw#TheNinjas