Adam B

Magician, Trouper, Professional Child.

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

Is there anything more frustrating than waiting behind not 1, but 2 people getting the heated sandwiches from Greggs? I want sant to get my chicken bake and leave!

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

I feel like I'm alone on this, but I've never watched a single episode of #LoveIsland Anyone else?

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

OK hear me out.....
Step 1: Buy a pure black bath bomb
Step 2: Arrange to have yourself baptised. The fully submerged type.
Step 3: Hide said bath bomb in you shirt.
Step 4: Chaos

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

Ed balls

[Ed Balls @edballs]

Ed Balls

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

@WWERollins, you've gotta tell me where you're getting these spectacular suits from, dude. Help me out. #EmbraceTheVision

[Teller @MrTeller]

Oh boy! UK Friends, do I have news for you! Join me and @pennjillette for 8 brand new live shows in June 2021. Tickets on sale Friday Oct 6th, 10am.
https://t.co/70OYRQmQKM

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

Tinder. The digital equivalent of a slap in the face.
T&C: does not apply if you're build like a Greek Adonis. Other dating apps are available.

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

MEN! Do you have too much confidence and self esteem? The boy have I got the app for you! Tinder! All it takes is a couple of right swipes from you and what feels like an eternity until you get a match, and you're self image will fall faster than a deer on a frozen pond.

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

I think this guy is more tom scott than @tomscott https://t.co/LqSnDCLup8

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

Can someone please explain where the phrase "cover me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians" comes from? Its been in my head for years and it absolutely baffles me.

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

Fun Fact: In watch adverts, the hands will always be set at 10:10. Why? Because in that position, the hands form a V with the brand of the watch in the centre. #OnceYouKnowYouCantNotSeeIt

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

Wish just sent me a notification saying they're having a deal on "adult toys". 1: Do not buy your "adult toys" from wish. 2: Do not buy your "adult toys" from wish IF THEY'RE ON SALE!!!! #KnowYourSilicone

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

Them: "I'm an aries. What are you?"
Me: "Not an idiot. By the way, would you like to buy some magic beans?" #StarsAintShit

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

HERE WE GO!!! #WWEPayback

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

Imagine how weird it would be if instead of clapping haphazardly for a round of applause, everyone clapped unison.

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

My google home just scared the s**t out of me!! Randomly piping up with "I cant connect to the wifi nerwork" when I'm home alone isnt helpful!

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

My local barbers: Free drinks, free wifi, relaxed atmosphere
Me: This place is great!
Barber: Its cash only
Me (internally): This place for money laundering!!

ITS THE ONLY EXPLINATION!

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

Is there anything we can do about this heat? Like, I dont know, punch the sun further away?

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

If I'm perfect honest, I'm loving Akira tozawa on #RAW for the simple fact that the phrase "The Ninjas" is being used with such nonchalance every 10 seconds hes on screen. #WWERaw #TheNinjas

[Adam B @AdamBMagic]

It seems that east London is party central tonight! It's rare to hear one loud party happening at someones house, let alone 5!