Adam Boils

pitter patter lets get at’er

[Adam Boils @Adam_Bomb10]

Adulting is basically just dedicating a fridge drawer to different types of cheese

[Adam Boils @Adam_Bomb10]

My wife just hit me with “my brother in Christ, did you spend $400 at Home Depot”

[Adam Boils @Adam_Bomb10]

Ya never see kids with inhalers anymore

[Adam Boils @Adam_Bomb10]

My brother just sent me this. We men really are simple creatures

[Adam Boils @Adam_Bomb10]

@JebraFaushay Chris D’Elia looking rough

[Adam Boils @Adam_Bomb10]

$50 white elephant limit? In this economy?

[Collin Rugg @CollinRugg]

JUST IN: The United States will pay Ukrainian salaries but furlough American citizens in the impending government shutdown.

Your government hates you and loves war.

If Congress fails to pass a spending plan, the U.S. government will shut down at the end of the month but will continue to fund salaries in Ukraine.

But what about federal employees in America? According to Newsweek, they will be furloughed.

Yes, your tax dollars will be used to fund Ukrainian salaries while American citizens are forced to wait for their pay while the government remains closed.

[Adam Boils @Adam_Bomb10]

I’ve only seen like 3 dudes ever that could pull off the gold chain look

[Adam Boils @Adam_Bomb10]

Fitting #UFC291

[Adam Boils @Adam_Bomb10]

Wife: I hereby claim Gatlinburg as the buffet capital of the world

[Adam Boils @Adam_Bomb10]

The “I was a size zero in high school” ladies always marry the “I benched 3 plates in high school” guys

[Adam Boils @Adam_Bomb10]

@InternetH0F TOTK

[Adam Boils @Adam_Bomb10]

No one:

My 90s brain: hello mother, hello father, fleas ticks mosquitos, really bother 🎶

[Adam Boils @Adam_Bomb10]

Sometimes it feels like all roads lead to Hogsmeade

[Adam Boils @Adam_Bomb10]

Me doing laundry: def gonna stop turning my socks inside out when I take them off

Future me:

[Adam Boils @Adam_Bomb10]

FB put the “see less of this” button on all elf on a shelf pics I’ve seen & I love them for it

[Adam Boils @Adam_Bomb10]

Tacky t-shirt stores are the heartbeat of America

[Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds]

Hard keeping my mouth sewn shut about this one. ⚔️

[Adam Boils @Adam_Bomb10]

*me unsubscribing from emails*

“Sorry to see you go! Please allow 25-32 business years for this to take effect”