Adam

[O'bs 🇨🇦 @obinson]

I keep saying, the real world is in the depths of the oceans

[It is me Nedu! @eEtiZmE]

I made a decision to start eating things I've been buying for women but never buy for myself

I bought pringles today...mehn! These girls are enjoying in my hand o!

[Parallel Facts @ParallelFacts]

INEC Chairman, Prof. Amupitan Disgraced in Chatham, England.

[Playback ⏪ @itstheplayback]

Carter Efe kneels to pray for Wizkid, Davido, Burna Boy and Asake after hearing Kokopee’s song! 😂🙏🔥

[Pharaoh👳🏾‍♂️👑 @MrMekzy_]

Me: i want 3 sharwama

Seller: Which one do you want sir?

Me: beef.

Seller: Okay.. Chief me i’ll eat o, should i make for myself?

Me: No problem, just hurry up.

Seller: Ahh thank you sir.

Me: Please add 3 milkshakes to it.

Seller: Okay sir, should i add for myself too?

Me:

[Ike @ValerieUTD]

That night, the tiki-taka era ended, and the power midfield era began.

23 April 2013. Allianz Arena. Bayern vs Barcelona, Champions League semi-final first leg.

Schweinsteiger No.31 with his back to camera. It looks quiet. It was the calm before Bayern broke Barcelona.

On one side, prime Xavi and Iniesta. The masters of tiki-taka, World Cup and Euro winners with Spain, who controlled games by passing teams to death.

On the other side, a different breed. Schweinsteiger and Javi Martinez. Not artists, warriors. Big, physical midfielders whose first job was to destroy.

Jupp Heynckes did not try to out-pass Barcelona. He told his double pivot to stay tight, stay central, and mark man-to-man.

Schweinsteiger fronted Messi and denied him easy balls. Martinez hunted Iniesta and barely gave him time to turn. Muller and Gomez pressed Busquets, the link man. He touched the ball 57 times that night, down from 93 in the 4-0 win over Milan earlier that season.

Xavi and Iniesta still kept the ball, but they were forced deep, passing sideways and backwards to Pique and Bartra. Barcelona had 66% possession, but Bayern had 15 shots to their 4.

Then Bayern punished them with power. Muller header from a corner, Gomez, Robben after a Schweinsteiger drive, Muller again. 4-0.

The second leg was worse. 1 May, Camp Nou. Messi did not even start, he stayed on the bench for 90 minutes. Bayern won 3-0 again. Xavi and Iniesta were taken off early, the tie already lost.

7-0 on aggregate. The biggest semi-final win in Champions League history.

Xavi and Iniesta played chess. Schweinsteiger and Martinez flipped the board.

[Sir Dickson @Wizarab10]

I can never forget the day 9ja women said if they had a 3 bedroom apartment and their man was renting a self-contain, they could not accommodate him in their house because they would disrespect him. Even the clowns who had tried packaging themselves as women with family values were fighting for their right to not house their own man, calling it a woman's nature to disrespect him if she houses him. Danaged souls.

Then damaged 9ja men were as usual fitting for their right to reject 3 bedroom to raise family in self-contain becsuse "as a man..."

"Woman's nature" una. No be woman accomodate her man in her parents home while sharing her bedroom with him for 2 years without any disrespect? She paid the bills and took care of him in love for 2 years. Una go carry witchcraft for body dey call am woman's nature. Just admit you're a witch. Again, womanhood is not a Nigerian word. We see women everywhere in the world.

As for 9ja men, I dont have pity for you. You no just wan get sense.

[Sir Dickson @Wizarab10]

We accept. We are broke.

Fix your bad character and stop looking for who will help you defend nonsense. Nobody tarnished your image, you did it yourselves. Foreigners are sharing first hand experiences with 9ja women, and instead of taking responsibility and being accountable, you're blabbing crap. 9ja men complained and you attacked them. Foreigners are complaining and you want 9ja men to defend you.

Why is it you they are dragging and not women of other nationalities?

[Korede. @kansolat]

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Arojinle @arojinle1]

God will punish you! Your phone charger will spoil. Your screen will break. Your generator rope will cut. Your solar panel will catch fire. You go join Neolife. For tweeting this, you shall regret and come back here to apologize!

[Easymoneysniper. @wagmii_]

She hit my bumper on Third Mainland Bridge on August 7, 2023. I came down from the car, and she started insulting me. I sha parked my car, let her finish shouting, and eventually, she handed me her phone. I spoke with her dad, who collected my number and gave me their mechanic's

[Kekeli 🇪🇸 @keliknowsball]

😭😭😂

[Kwesi TumTum @kwesitumtum]

😂 bruhhh I haven’t laughed like this in a looooong time 😂😂😂😂😂

[Olajiire 🎭 @olajiire101]

😭😭

[nolimits™ @hesnolimits]

If u wash the pot finish U de squeeze am?

[y4yi @yxyiagain]

this is the most useless animal in the world 😭😭😭😭

[Sam @ilynem]

Manifesto? Let’s see what was in Tinubu’s 2023 manifesto.
1. 12% GDP growth? Fail.
2. Stabilising Naira at 300 per dollar? Fail
3. 15,000 MW and constant power? Fail
4. Triple spending in Education? Fail.
5. Raise healthcare budget to 10%? Fail.

No one cares about your manifesto

[Sam @ilynem]

Let me tell you people how Tinubu’s tenure will go. It’s so easy to predict.
1. In June, subsidy will be removed. This will trigger inflation never seen in Nigeria before. I see people refer to transportation costs (for humans), but it’s a lot more than that.