Adam Fisher

Comedian, Improviser, performs with @CSzLA

[Adam Fisher @Adam_Fisher]

Raisins are a lot less fun when you realize they’re just grapes who were never allowed to retire.

[Adam Fisher @Adam_Fisher]

Can’t wait for the McDonalds commercial where Brian Cox asks “Is Grimace gunna f&#% us?!?”

[Adam Fisher @Adam_Fisher]

The Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercial but it’s the pit crew instead of the dogs. #DragRace @RuPaulsDragRace

[Adam Fisher @Adam_Fisher]

My favorite Mad Max movie is the California Love music video. #drdre #tupac

[Adam Fisher @Adam_Fisher]

My body is a temple, but the janitor was fired a long time ago.

[Adam Fisher @Adam_Fisher]

I finally figured out why old white dudes love the blues - it’s just someone musically complaining.

[Adam Fisher @Adam_Fisher]

@KurtDMaloney Add a whoopee cushion for every banana peel. Needs to be a holistic experience.

[Adam Fisher @Adam_Fisher]

This Friday @FlappersComedy in Burbank, YOU could be the star of our show! https://t.co/MdngnbjS0I

[Adam Fisher @Adam_Fisher]

@Arbys “We have the meats” sounds like a threat, not a selling point.

[Adam Fisher @Adam_Fisher]

Shoutout to the waiter at the restaurant I’m at who just angrily explained to his coworkers that “under no circumstances” should he have to answer the phone. “It’s not my job!”

[Adam Fisher @Adam_Fisher]

@amutepiggy @molllllusk But he leaves a pungent taste in your mouth?

[Adam Fisher @Adam_Fisher]

My cat is VERY interested in @TheBiancaDelRio #DragRace

[Adam Fisher @Adam_Fisher]

Congratulations to @JimmyKimmel and all my friends and former coworkers at @JimmyKimmelLive on 20 amazing years. I’m incredibly grateful for the time I got to spend at the show. Jimmy is great guy to work for which led to a great work environment. Keep up the good work everybody!

[Danny Ricker @dannyricker]

One of the great prides & joys of my life has been working @JimmyKimmelLive the past 16 years w/ a group of lunatics I am lucky to call my family, including the great & powerful @jimmykimmel whose kindness never ceases. Celebrate our 20th anniversary 2nite at 10 on ABC #KIMMELx20

[Ian Patrick McHugh @PatrickMacAodha]

Saying that a billionaire terf mocking a trans woman broadcaster for her use of gendered language is "supporting speaking truth to power," is like saying that a white guy lecturing the black community how they should or shouldn't refer to themselves is "speaking truth to power"

[Adam Fisher @Adam_Fisher]

@PatrickMacAodha I have no memory of this but I’ve blocked out a lot of stuff so that’s not saying it didn’t happen. Obviously very high concept comedy on my part!

[Adam Fisher @Adam_Fisher]

Kevin McCarthy
Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near

[Adam Fisher @Adam_Fisher]

I aspire to one day move with the swiftness of the credits following a movie airing on basic cable.

[Adam Fisher @Adam_Fisher]

.@JamesGunn my DC movie pitch: A multiverse team-up movie that's all Alfreds. They get sent to a nice Airbnb out in the woods and then it’s just 90 mins of them reading and taking naps while a (non-Alfred) man dressed like Batman does all the household chores in the background.