Adult Humour

These joke aren't for the faint of heart,They are offensive and just down right funny and disgusting so anyone that is offended easy well go choke on a jam rag.

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

Blind man walks into a building... well at least his labrador has a good sense of humour!

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

Anal sex: It's not for pussies.

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

In America, flipping the bird means an offensive gesture using your middle finger. In Britain, flipping the bird means it's time for anal.

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

Last night my girlfriend said, "I bet you can't roll a joint whilst getting a blowjob." I immediately responded with, "Will you marry me?"

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

My mate suffers from that disease which makes him allergic to facts. Religion.

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow, but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

All Jay-Z's problems have been undone by his brother, Ctrl-Z.

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

"Excuse me,love.this is where I get off." I said to the woman sitting next to me on the bus. As I took out my cock and began to have a wank

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

Morning everyone lets start this fine saturday off with some jokes!!!

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

"Very little scares me," said my new girlfriend "Great," I thought to myself, "She's going to be terrified when she sees my cock."

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

Since being sent to prison for murder, I've taken up smoking. Apparently it can reduce my life by 20 years.

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

You know what Elisabeth Fritzl's major character flaw is? She's got too much of her father in her.

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

I saw a man at the beach yelling "Help, shark! Help!" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him. #SharkNado

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me. She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong socks before I went for a walk.

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

How do you know if you have a high sperm count? When your wife has to chew before she swallows.

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

Don't you love the tan lines that girls get after sunbathing? It's almost like god came down and highlighted all the important parts. #HOT

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

I sent my wife a picture of my flaccid penis. I wanted to let her know I was thinking about her.

[Adult Humour @Adulthumour18]

Amsterdam is a lot like the Tour de France. It's just a lot of people on drugs riding bikes. #tdf