Advice From My Chinese Mom

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

Dad on the phone with his sister " I go for a walk with my buddies once a week, and I have my tenants to keep me busy.....and I have gin and tonic "

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

I have to go to 10 or 29 stores. I starve. Why? Because I don't like most things - Rudy Irwin

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

Dads watching tv on the couch . "Got any plan today dad?" "Yeah. I am just trying to psych myself up to take out the compost"

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

Mom gives me this from the mantle. It's a bag of eggshells she crushed with a hammer. For my garden. Lol

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

Real Estate Advice - the Quai lo......... should buy lo. - Dad

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

Mom unpacks her hospital food. Sees two green tea mochis and whisper exclaims "I'm not eating that junk!"

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

Dad, lay down next to mom, as she's not well - in the pitch dark. After awhile he realized he's pinned her arm with his elbow. He moves to the other side and she says "your pillow is on my face!"

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

We are driving back from the hospital. Mom is too weak to speak in the car ride home. She says something to me and I lean forward to hear it. She says "looking at the phone in the dark is bad for your eyes" I say, "you wasted your breath to tell me that?" She says "Exactly"

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

Mom is sick, dad tucks her in gently on the couch. He can tell she wants to say something so he puts his ear close to her and she says "wrong."

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

I'm sitting eating breakfast on the couch and mom is sitting watching me from another couch.When I'm done she says "are you finished? Okay I need to tell you something. Ready? I lost an insect right where you're sitting. - You should be happy. I waited until you finished eating!

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

Some rodent made a nest in the mulch of my garden.
Mom, "maybe it was a rat going to lay eggs"

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

I made my bf some deodorant and it gave him a rash. This is the funniest thing my mom has ever heard. "Because you gave him something to help him but instead you hurt him!!!!"

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

"What's language is speaking? She using all these fancy words. Hip bones and stuff. Thumbs down" - dad listening to yoga on YouTube

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

"Dad how long are you going to hold that handle?" *Dad looks at the glue package* "about 45 mins"

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

Dad - "I'm going to fix up some of my old machinery and sell it" . I said, "that's not what old people do! They keep it forever in a shed full of junk"
Dad - " you're right I am actually going to fix it and keep it"

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

Talking about the mosquito nets never used we bought in 1995. Why didn't we ever use them "No mosquitos". Well then why did we buy them? " In case of mosquitos"

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

I asked mom to move her bags hanging off the plant shelf. I said "it's a sight for sore eyes." She laughed and said "in Chinese it's 'nails in my eyes' usually for a person you don't like who is always in front of you"

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

I give my plants....fatty boy water. And then they get chubby!

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

I sent mom and article about how the next recession would destroy millenials and she responded with a big blue thumbs up

[Advice From My Chinese Mom @AdviceChinese]

Mom keeps telling me she's too busy to come for walk during quarantine. I ask dad what she could possibly be so busy with. What is she doing? "She's running up and down the hallway saying she's too busy"