Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈

chosen by a higher power to help you regret your stupid decisions. Slowly realizing that I may in reality be a parody. Maybe we're ALL parodies?! 🥸

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

@TheTweetOfGod I gotta disagree. Once a human is disassembled, much of what's left is quite valuable to the right buyer. Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

Sometimes when I say something I hear my dad's voice. And it still sounds disappointed with me. Your dad was probably like mine. I checked. He is. See you soon. Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

People are busting up these cameras that are going up all over.. while also carrying a device that houses multiple cameras, several microphones, and a gps chip at all hours of the day, voluntarily. So.. where does paranoia come from and why? See you soon! Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

HOLY SHIT, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! Not me. You. Eventually. See you soon! Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

Tips for stupid humans: Stop fucking trying so hard. Nobody even notices or cares. If they do, it's probably because they're taking advantage of you and hope you haven't noticed. See you soon. Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

@TheTweetOfGod I talked to the boss. He said toss in Betty White and you got a deal. Otherwise, he suggests you send these fuckers into the nearest volcano. Or maybe that was me. Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

@TheTweetOfGod Just realized you're kinda cute when you're angry. Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

Life is full of all these tiny decisions you make everyday that alter the course of your future. Choose wisely, 'cause then you die and our team makes ALL the decisions from that point forward! Can't wait. See you real soon! Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

Just because you shouldn't do something, doesn't mean you can't. See you real soon! Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

Every normal human I've ever met has at some point struggled with mental health issues. See you soon! Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

Their are no bad hellhounds, just bad hellhound owners. See you soon. Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

Your grandma says "hi," btw. See you real soon! Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

I'm glad to see that after such a long time away, people on this platform have continued to be just absolute pieces of shit. It's like I never left! Btw, see you soon. Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

Yo.. you wouldn't believe who's down here. I had a twenty minute conversation with him this morning! Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

Don't worry about the "drones," people. They're harmless. They're not even drones! They're just the machines that "they" use to control the weather. They've ALWAYS been there. Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

Dunno why humans are so worked up about the election. The choice is simple. Do the research, use your head, and consider which candidate you'd feel comfortable leaving your daughter alone in a room with. See? Easy! See ya soon! Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

Down in "hell," one of the geniuses decided to make ELEVATORS one of the scariest things to some humans (for so many reasons) while also designing it to be the safest form of motor travel that exists. (True) Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

Btw, you're welcome. We're doing GREAT right now. Everyone down here is really happy with the results. FYI, body language is quack science. Love ya! Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

@agentofstan Drinks are on me! Xo

[Devil's Advocate 🏳️‍🌈 @AdvocateToDevil]

This planet is a big ball of shit full of shitty people who walk around pretending to be good people. But you and I know better, don't we? See you soon! Xo