After Birth

An edgy television comedy about new moms. You won't need to call child services, but you will question some of their choices.

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

I am not a bad parent. I just rescued a fruit fly from my wine glass. #afterbirth #goodtv #newparents #heisgonnamakeit

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

The fundamental difference between being a parent and not is; when you see a brown smudge, you think it's chocolate, I know it's poo #truth

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

Everyone's breathing. Job complete. Tag me out and let's never speak of this day again. #AfterBirth #newmoms #toddlerdom #fme

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

I am a new mom and I am late for a lot of things... happy hour isn't one of them #AfterBirth #newmoms #goodtv #shouldbetv #g&t

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

"Mags, do you even know how to garden?" "No, I am just in the dirt pulling at things" "Can we plant my wiener?" #AfterBirth #married #sex

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

I'm sorry I didn't hear you; I'm with the kids today so my ability to tune everything out is heightened #AfterBirth #newmom #anothergalaxy

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

"Mags, let's try something new tonight?" "I thought we're gonna try costumes, like you wear a bigger dick costume" #AfterBirth #married #sex

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

I am doing really aggressive sun salutations while my children fight in the next room #AfterBirth #newmoms #serenitynow #goodtv #shouldbetv

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

The Force is strong with this young mother to get a drink... #AfterBirth #newmoms #playing starwars #galaxyfarfaraway #goodtv #shouldbetv

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

There is a lot of screaming up there. But it's happy screaming, right? #AfterBirth #newparent #rowdiness #toddlersvs.kid #issomeonedying?

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

'I think I have Lupus' 'You don't' have Lupus.' 'SADS? I have SADS' 'No.' 'Mono?' 'No.' 'Motherhood?' 'Yes.' #AfterBirth #it'scatching #fme

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

My kids? They are so cute I could pinch them. Minus the cute part. #AfterBirth #Maggie #newmoms #goodtv #toddlers #terrorizers

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

"I think he's bipolar". "No. He's two" #AfterBirth #newmoms #moods #toddlerdom #terrorists #howlongarewelyingonthefloorfor?

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

Forget Baby Gap- when we go out in public, I dress my kids like pylons #Amy #AfterBirth #newmom #lostmykidonce #youcanusuallyspotapylon

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

You know you're a parent when you start remembering places by when you pooed there #Afterbirth #newparents #goodtv #funnywriting

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

0h loverboy- step over the laundry basket, move this miscellaneous pile of mail and peel off these xxl sweatpants I've been wearing all week

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

Hey! I take great pride in my surface cleaning! #Amy #AfterBirth #newmom #goodtv #don'tlookthatclose

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

And just like that I go from stepping on Cheerios to stepping on Legos #Dave #AfterBirth #newdad #growingup #fu$&!thathurts

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

I see a silver lining to all of this or is that just the gleam from my wine glass? #Maggie #AfterBirth #newmom #toddlerdom #inthethickofit

[After Birth @AfterBirthPilot]

No one ever tells you that you're signing up for 20 years of skid marks #Maggie #AfterBirth #newmom #lifewithboys #needmoresoap