Agio

If cooking is a crime then I'm Judge, Jury, and Executioner! #Cooking up Memes, Comics, and Social Commentary for @The_Conglo, @Fishcal_Shark, & @pearlCHAIRS

[Agio @Agi_Con]

Look what we're cooking! Come check out our new #Instagram Page and #Facebook page as we tweek the recipe of this social media stew!

Instagram : https://t.co/H8DujlhjoW
Facebook: https://t.co/meQ7wSsMBO

[Agio @Agi_Con]

I prefer fresh, but not #virgin, blood sausages. I'm not a #vamp, just looking for those good #nutrients.

[Agio @Agi_Con]

If you try to crack pepper over my #dish one more time I'm going to have to #bust out my pepper mill. Trust me you will be #embarrassed by the size difference.

[Agio @Agi_Con]

Its #impossible to cook for a tyrannosaurus rex. The only thing they want to #eat is pterodactyl #eggs and they're fucking extinct so there's no pleasing any of them.

[Agio @Agi_Con]

Well Butter My #Bread! Well shake me a #smoothie! Well Marinate my #meat!

[Agio @Agi_Con]

Turns out those #Georgia #peaches really don't take kindly to you insulting their #heritage.

[Agio @Agi_Con]

I've started a weekly #gladiatorial betting ring amongst our stored #produce. #BetOnTomatoes to #BeatYourMeat.

[Agio @Agi_Con]

If you're going to make a #pie make sure to put your elbows into #it

[Agio @Agi_Con]

I've travelled the 5 #continents to find the best #wood to smoke #meat with. Turns out its whatever they make church pews out of. Sac religion really brings out the #flavor.

[Agio @Agi_Con]

Just like my great aunt Jally from #Georgia used to say, "Ain't nothing wrong with bread rolls in the kitchen!"

[Agio @Agi_Con]

Never let your #food dry out. Just like #sex its better when its #moist.

[Agio @Agi_Con]

My favorite #exorcisms are done to deviled #eggs. They actually get more #delicious the more #possessed they are. Yum Yum!

[Agio @Agi_Con]

I've been told I might have an #UnhealthyRelationship with my #CastIron pans. Just because we all get #oiled up together #OneTime and pictures somehow end up on #TheInternet, suddenly I'm #weird.

[Agio @Agi_Con]

The #host of a #party I'm catering asked me to bring #FingerFoods. What does a finger even #eat? #HOW do they eat?

[Agio @Agi_Con]

If you're #seafood starts to #harass you, you've got a 90% chance they're an #invertebrate and have #NoSpine. Simply #intimidating them should get them to #PissOff.

[Agio @Agi_Con]

#Find the thing that makes you #drool the most and #MarryIt. You shouldn't care what the neighbors say. Food love is natural. The #vows you'll make to your #PorkButt wife will be #beautiful.

[Agio @Agi_Con]

I'll #roast #whatever I want over whatever #IWant. #PorkBelly over eucalyptus leaves! What! #IDontGiveAFuck!

[Agio @Agi_Con]

If you're tinned, you're in. That's what I say. #yum #truth

[Agio @Agi_Con]

If I'm going to #boil something to #CookIt you #best #believe I'm busting out the fancy stocks.

[Agio @Agi_Con]

#IfICould ask any #SimpleFavor of any #deity it would be for a #GrilledCheeseSandwich. Oh and #YouBetterBelieve I'd judge the shit out of #how they made it.

[Agio @Agi_Con]

#Any #chef that hasn't #mastered the #art of egging truly #ShouldntBeAllowed to man the flat top of any #diner.