-refusing to ask for help
-downplaying your achievements
-isolating yourself instead of communicating
-saying "yes" to everything
-neglecting your own needs
-avoiding important responsibilities
-flooding your mind with negativity
-always chasing perfection
this girl on TikTok said, "take care of yourself so you don't become a hater when you see a woman doing better than you." ... & she was right. a lot of women don't realize the hate they throw at other women is really unhealed envy. you're not mad at her, you're mad because she's doing what you keep saying you'll do but haven't had the discipline, mindset, or courage to start.
There's a physicist at Stanford named Safi Bahcall who modeled this exact principle and the math is wild.
He calls it "phase transitions in human networks." When you're stationary, your probability of a lucky event is limited to your existing surface area: the people you already know, the places you already go, the ideas you've already been exposed to. Your opportunity window is fixed.
When you move, your collision rate with new nodes in a network increases nonlinearly. Double your movement (new conversations, new cities, new projects) and your probability of a serendipitous encounter doesn't double. It roughly quadruples. Because each new node connects you to their entire network, not just to them.
Richard Wiseman ran a 10-year study at the University of Hertfordshire tracking self-described "lucky" and "unlucky" people. The single biggest differentiator wasn't IQ, education, or family money. Lucky people scored significantly higher on one trait: openness to experience. They talked to strangers more, varied their routines more, and said yes to invitations at nearly twice the rate.
The "unlucky" group followed the same routes, ate at the same restaurants, and talked to the same 5 people. Their networks were closed loops. No new inputs, no new collisions.
Luck isn't random. Luck is surface area. And surface area is a function of movement.
The lobster emoji is doing more work than most people realize. Lobsters grow by shedding their shell when it gets too tight. The growth requires a period of total vulnerability. No protection, no armor, soft body exposed to the ocean.
That's the cost of movement nobody posts about. You have to be uncomfortable first. The new shell only hardens after you've already moved.
I detach very fast. Anything i love extremely deeply I'm prepared to lose. It can break my heart but I have learned how to keep going. It can seem cold, but if it takes me off my pivot.. I’ll cut my finger off to save my hand.
I can’t lose myself again, for anything. I'll heal
if you choose A WORKING WOMAN, you must accept that she CANNOT manage a house full time by herself. if you choose A HOUSEWIFE who can take care of and manage the household completely, you need to accept that she DOES NOT MAKE MONEY and you will have to provide for everything. if you choose a SUBMISSIVE WOMAN, you should accept that she DEPENDS on you to lead. if you choose to be with a STRONG WOMAN, you should accept that she is STUBBORN and has her own thoughts and ways
May I be a better sister, daughter, friend, and lover (in all relationships) this year and the years to follow. Allowing people to show up for me as I show up for others. Pouring into their cups and they pour into mine. Strengthened bonds and community. 🤍
what you do in private, shows in public. reading shows in a conversation. your diet shows in energy. your discipline shows in confidence. your focus shows in your results. you are what you cultivate when no one is watching. prioritize your time & focus on discipline/consistency
your relationship with discipline changes so much when you shift doing things from shame to love. from ‘i have to clean’ to realizing i deserve to have a clean home. from ‘i need to work out’ to i deserve to have a healthy body. you deserve to have the best from yourself.