Andrew 🇺🇦

Somewhere else.
Cenosillicaphobic.

[Godspeed You Black Tamperer (ft Maya) @twlldun]

When you definitely live in the UK and understand British politics

[Unite Hospitality @FairHospitality]

🚨 BREAKING 🚨

Senior management at BrewDog have told workers that they must come into work from 6pm despite a serious weather warning still in place. This may force workers to travel during stay at home/risk to life warning.

If they don’t come in, they won’t be paid.

[Nick Tyrone @NicholasTyrone]

Keir Starmer isn't going to call a general election. He just isn't. More to the point, he shouldn't. We had an election six months ago. Stop being silly.

[Edinburgh Airport @EDI_Airport]

🤷‍♂️| If anyone in Kirkliston is missing a trampoline, we've got it.

[bailey @Baileymoon15]

you know he spent several days working on some jokes and these are what he came up with

[Private Eye Magazine @PrivateEyeNews]

Donald Trump. An Apology.

The new Private Eye is out now

[Bes D. Marx🔻 @BesDMarx]

elon musk is not a fascist, here's proof of him standing next to me, a fascist

[Andrew 🇺🇦 @AhmNoHere]

@elonmusk not even remotely the same

[Gyll King Post Skip Diplomacy @GyllKing]

Neither Nigel Farage nor Liz Truss or Suella Braverman got a ticket for the Trump inauguration. They were literally left outside in the cold like the losers they are.

[Matthew Chapman @fawfulfan]

Under Trump's executive order, every single person in America is now legally classified as female.

All embryos begin by developing female sex organs, with male sex organs only replacing them at around 6 weeks of gestation.

[Andrew 🇺🇦 @AhmNoHere]

@elonmusk Do you feel that your views get too much attention on Wikipedia?

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

New Twitter logo just announced

[Hughes-on-the-Wold @NotThatHughes]

"Why are we leaving, Dad?"

"The UK has too many muslims"

"Where are we heading?"

"Dubai"

[safia aidid @safiyaaaay]

so a watermelon is antisemitic but a Nazi salute is neurodivergence

[Robert Evans (The Only Robert Evans) @IwriteOK]

all these dipshits got shot and killed because their lily white legs in shorts made them easy to spot and shoot through the bush. rest in piss fuckers

[🍑 @PEACHYBLACKG0RL]

did he just……..

[Sammie-Doo, Where Are You! @srkdall]

The most beautiful part of dining at Bob’s Big Boy was our waitress not knowing who died and why everyone was ordering shakes and when we showed her David Lynch’s picture she got so sad and said “Him? He was the nicest customer, came in and ordered the same thing everyday.” (1/2)