Dearest mother —
I write with riveting news. I have once again — after what felt like an eternity — utilized my sidearm and tactical abilities. I know I swore to stow my sidearm after I retired — but, I am training new soldiers for battle. And it was only proper to unholster my blunderbuss to inspire and guide. My tenacity abounds.
— Andrew
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Dearest mother —
I hope my appearance on the magical, moving picture box filled you with joy. As you could see, my resolve has never been more robust. Squirrel oil and your peppered chipmunk feet have kept me sturdy. Life is splendid. Give the cows my best. I love you.
— Andrew