Aindreyas

#bpd
#disabled
He/him
32

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

@Sahilow Some of the story mods are great. Exit music is one that still sticks with me 8 years later almost. It pulls at your heart strings heavily. I see they did a redux of it, and may have to check it out again

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

So ive just been drinking until im not as worried about the chance of cancer. I know the chance increases each year, so drinking the worry away makes me not stress as much for my upcoming scope :/

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

The past week I've been in my mind a lot. Having a dr question how I have Barretts esophagus at a "young age", waking up choking on stomach acid, and another scope coming up, it has me thinking of the cancer chances...

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

My nightmares half the time are more twisted than any Saw movie, any Friday the 13th, or any Nightmare on Elm Street. It'd make James Wan jealous lmao. Honestly though, Zoloft nightmares are legit hell

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

I hate Zoloft dreams. I went from very very rarely dreaming, to having a very bad nightmare every week. I love horror movies, but my nightmares actually scare me. Waiting to see if this other med calms them down a bit, and stops them being so twisted

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

@TsukiTuna It honestly sounds like the two of you had a lot of fun times <3

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

This Dr's appointment can't come fast enough. I don't think I should be woken up actively vomiting stomach acid and choking, and the burning of it being in my nose and my lungs
Ive lost count how many times this has happened in 2 years

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

Think I was smart, spend $200 on a cooling fan for the summer
Wear it 3 times
Turned it off for a moment to talk
Hit the power button and heard it beep

But nothing happened

How tf?

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

@TsukiLunaYT I wish I could say it gets better with time. Here i am 19 years after my mom died and it hasn't gotten better. I will say though that the pain dulls after a bit. The hurt from the memories, slowly turn to happiness <3

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

@TsukiTuna Please stay strong Tsuki. Ik its so much easier said than done. When I finally was able to process my mom dying, I didn't want to be anywhere. I wanted my mind to shut off for a while. Remember, you have people who are there for you at any time <3

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

@needysitions Lmao 🤣

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

@needysitions I don't normally post it, but since you asked....

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

I hate when my nightmares return. I end up not wanting to sleep, to not have another nightmare. Ptsd nightmares after reliving the trauma, is pure hell. I don't want to sleep

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

Family dr tried changing a med my psychiatrist put me on, thus causing an issue at the pharmacy. I now get to go without my nighttime ptsd meds. Sleep is going to be soo fun... Hopefully I can get it fixed by Tuesday. Weighted blanket, here I come

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

@TsukiLunaYT Disability. My back is fused and it puts all strain on everything below my ribs. It beats you down and makes you feel worthless

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

@TsukiLunaYT Fr, and disability pay is shit. My disability payment, is less than the average rent. Now I'm also a live in caregiver for my dad since he's a vet. I hate not being able to do things, having no social life etc. From the bottom of my ribs and down, hurt so bad daily due to my....

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

@TsukiLunaYT What will you do for me first attitude

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

@TsukiLunaYT I'm really starting to see how fucked he was. I never conversed with him outside of comments, but god damn. He gave me weird vibes just from comment sections. Sorry but I find Suzuki hella funny lol. Reading skills were not their strong suit it seems. It seems he had a

[Aindreyas @Aindreyas]

@SpaceIdolHime It was almost as if he just appeared everywhere like magic lol. Idk how I even came across him lol