Al Bundy

Father. Husband. Shoe salesman. President and Founder of NO MA'AM. Once scored four touchdowns in a single game for Polk High.

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

Happy 80th birthday to the big man.

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

Al: I'm Al 'The Mailman' Bundy. I deliver!
Peg: But mailmen are slow, and they deliver every day.
Al: Yeah, but they don't always have to go to the same house.

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

"What are you people trying to do, ruin my boy's confidence? If he says a teacher looked at him, I say a teacher looked at him. Son, was this a female teacher?"

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

@fordnation I don't know how it's legal for the government to limit what you can sell something for. In-demand items go for a premium. That's life. No one is forcing anyone to spend $2,000 on a ticket to watch a ball game.

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

"Gimme my pictures! I got planes to catch, cars to buy, and families to leave. The name's Bundy, but that'll soon change."

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

Sweet Facebook Marketplace find.

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

"Make sure to read the labels. I don't want you getting anything that says 'natural' ingredients."

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

"Come on, girls, we're going to the ghetto!"

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

"The store was packed with women. Well, there were actually only two in the store, but it was wall-to-wall."

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

"How'd you get the stove working, Steve? Peg said it's been broke for months."

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

"He's the killer! I know it, you know it, and they, well, if Darwin is right, they'll know it in about a million years."

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

"A man's home is his coffin."

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

"Ahhh, Peg. Not you!"

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

@its_The_Dr I've watched that interview a few times now. And the episode he did of Kevin Pollak's Chat Show. Both have some great stories. Ed's a great storyteller.

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

"I'm not selling shoes for the money; I'm in it to torture fat women."

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

STEVE: Wild animals can sense when women are, uhh...
AL: Killing their husbands?
STEVE: No, Al. When they're cycling. Don't you understand? They want our women.
AL: Well, then our women they shall have.

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

"A driving test, eh? Well, I'll have you know I've been driving through the mean streets of Chicago for thirty years, in the same mean car, with the same mean wife."

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

CUSTOMER: I want something that goes with this dress.
AL: A bubbling cauldron?
CUSTOMER: You got a lot of nerve.
AL: I need it to get this close to your feet.

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

@mmpadellan @MAGAVoice The Dems pay you to tweet this or are you doing this pro bono?

[Al Bundy @AlBundyParody]

"Someone must have tampered with my thumb warmer, Peg."