Alan Garner

I'm not supposed to be within 200 feet of a school.. or Chuck E. Cheese. *PARODY ACCT not affiliated w/ Zach Galifianakis/Hangover.

[Alan Garner @AlanGHangover]

I heard mercury is in Gatorade.

[Alan Garner @AlanGHangover]

#2020vision

[Alan Garner @AlanGHangover]

*glances at 0.69 GPA*

Yeah right, nerd.

[Sahil Lavingia @shl]

Your GPA should never be the most interesting thing about you.

[Alan Garner @AlanGHangover]

Spoke to my ex after 10 years. “Mr. Or Mister,” she asks.

Dr. Pepper I said.

[Alan Garner @AlanGHangover]

For all you haters who said I was going to have a shitty life, lucky guess.

[Alan Garner @AlanGHangover]

10 concerts – 9 I’ve been to, and 1 is a lie. Which 1 is the lie?

1 Fuck
2 You
3 Everyone
4 Hates
5 U
6 Go
7 Fucking
8 Die
9 Shit
10 Head

[Alan Garner @AlanGHangover]

Enjoy your nightmares.