Alana Burton

LDS, Paralegal, Wife, Boy mom

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

😅

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

I wouldn’t trade the last 6 months for anything but motherhood is lonely af

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

People will complain about someone doing something and then turn around and do it themselves 😅

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

Just gonna ask bc I’m honestly curious: @Moes_HQ why do you have a diaper changing table in the women’s restroom and not the men’s room? This is problematic in a lot of ways.

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

@marieyelhcta I know this doesn’t directly answer your question but I still think esthetician school would be amazing for you.

[Addatude @addatude_]

Your dad talking to your friend of 10+ years trying to remember their name

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

Can I get an Amen

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

@kristinpatt10 I will happily take off work to come hold her if you need 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

I wouldn’t trade the last 6 months for anything but motherhood is lonely af

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

motherhood: when you are projectile vomited on and showering isn’t the first or even the fifth thing you do afterwards

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

The church that owns the building where my niece goes to daycare is kicking the entire daycare business out. On Good Friday. They had two weeks notice.

Yes, very Christian.

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

I don’t understand you people that like La Croix

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

@itslonnanotlana this pollen can go straight back to the hellfire from whence it came

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

Listening to your child wheeze is a special kind of hell

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

You either get better or you get bitter

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

Me telling my boss I can summarize a 4000 page document in the next two days

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

@PatrickButter “Who are these for?”
Um, her.
Thanks for playing, Pat. Better luck next time.

[RawBeautyKristi @RawBeautyKristi]

What did I even do with my days prior to being a mom? Wasted them.. that’s what. Sat around thinking “I don’t have enough time”
PFFFFFT I had no idea how much time I had, or how much time I spent just sitting around procrastinating literally everything

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

@marieyelhcta

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

Imagine caring about something so dumb on this level

[Alana Burton @AlanaEllison616]

I’ll just get gas on my way to work tomorrow